Heather Hughes: On Body Positivity
It’s what I think
Fat and ugly
Isn’t
My body
Shameful
When it comes to body image and our appearance, too often, the self-talk which we’ve developed is negative. Most of us would never speak to friends or loved ones in the way that we speak to ourselves about our appearance.
What motivates you to feel good in your body?
I have recently been working on a project which explores positive self-talk, particularly relating to body image. I have been speaking with and researching people from all walks of life with different views and opinions about their looks and appearance.
I spoke to several people who felt dissatisfied with their body image and several of those people felt that their dissatisfaction was something which was within their control. i.e weight loss/gain, giving up smoking, exercising more, cutting out sugar.
One question kept recurring within our conversations: “If I hate my body so much, why aren’t I motivated enough to change it?”
This question was asked by countless people and I found it both interesting and relatable.
If somebody is so deeply unhappy with something that they are in control of, what is it that’s stopping them holding them back from change?
Here is what I concluded when it comes to our image:
We all begin drawing a mental image of ourselves during early childhood. That perception then continues to change along with our bodies into and throughout adulthood.
We are all constantly bombarded by the media with images that objectify human bodies and want to sell us as products and services. This media eventually begins to affect how we see ourselves and contributes to the internal narrative that we all tell ourselves in our day-to-day lives. Advertisers sell products to us by using unrealistic and un-achievable ideals of what we should look like in order to communicate with our insecurities.
Although there is now more diversity in the media, there is still a toxic culture that places a high value on body size and beauty.
Although we may feel a strong desire to look or behave in accordance with these beauty standards, our inner narrative that dictates us may be what’s stopping us from changing these image parameters that appear to be within our control.
“Imagine a teenage boy with a brand new, first car. He adores his new car so much that he spends all day cleaning it, repairing it and making sure it remains in great condition.”
Here are some important things to bear in mind when practising self-compassion with regards to your body image.
You are enough.
No-one is wholly defined by the way that look or how able their body is. Nobody else has the power to shame you or your body, and you don’t have the right to shame anyone else about theirs. According to Brenee Brown, the number one shame trigger which makes people feel like they (or their body) is not enough, is appearance and body image. Self compassion has been proven to alleviate pain and suffering related to negative body image and promotes self-acceptance.
2. Understand your definition of having a healthy relationship with food.
A Negative body image can lead to an unhealthy obsession with weight loss and may trigger eating disorders and body dysmorphia for people who are predisposed. A healthy relationship with food could mean something different to different people. It could mean eating enough, not binging, not feeling guilty about eating, not being too rigid about what or when you are eating.
3. Show yourself kindness.
Write yourself a list of things that you are grateful to your body for. It could be your pretty eyes, great hair, your digestive system or perhaps you’ve carried a child. Next time your thoughts are invaded with a negative comment about your appearance, try your hardest to replace that thought with one of the things on your grateful list and take gentle, baby steps to retraining your inner dialogue. Be careful what you say to yourself because you are listening.
4. Society values an unattainable beauty standard.
Instagram filters, plastic surgery, Kardashians and modern technology have all contributed to our societies unattainable and capitalist beauty standards. Remember that society is fat-phobic and wants everybody to look the same. It’s good to be different and healthy and mental well-being should always come before where we value our appearances.
All bodies are beautiful.
This is my body, and for now it’s all I have.
My body is comfortable. My body is warm and soft.
My body is the place where I call home.
A place of self worship, my fleshy temple.
It’s not for you to decide,
It doesn’t matter how large or small you want me to be.
I love to wear,
Things that you don’t like,
Because
You can or can’t see my body,
Just remember,
It’s not for you.
Written by Heather Hughes
Heather Hughes is a Bristol based artist whose interdisciplinary practise spans painting, costume, prop design and sculpture. The artist who describes her work as ‘deliberately bad’ believes that it’s important for art to serve a greater societal purpose. Often inspired by ‘Pop Culture and Celebrity’ Hughes creates quirky and charismatic images, balancing on the divide between dark and playful.