Season 14 of RuPaul’s Drag Race has been rightly celebrated for its trans representation. In addition to the series’ laudable trans representation, this latest season has also featured two neurodivergent queens, as Jasmine Kennedie and Orion Story have both revealed (since filming the show) that they have been diagnosed with ADD and ADHD respectively.
It is the day of my tahoor, or purification; it is the day that I am to be cut. I am feeling joyous but slightly nervous (and a different feeling I couldn’t quite categorise) about the occasion: the communal ritual which will, in my eyes, make me a woman!
It was only when we started to ease out lockdown that I noticed me declining meetups. It wasn't fuelling me with overwhelming excitement, but rather, fear that there may be food involved. My friends would go out and there would be the spontaneous post of food, and I would think to myself, I bet they are enjoying that ice cream, or that meal that isn't under a certain calorie number.
Before, I was not a divided person. I took pride in my decisiveness, and my ability to dissect, understand and articulate my own feelings. That was until chronic illness split me down the middle, like a kitchen knife through an overripe avocado.
When it comes to our careers, it’s very easy to find ourselves striving towards someone else’s definition of success, but this will never make us happy. Some people’s idea of success might be a smart car, a senior title and an expensive suit and house. But is that yours?
At 15 months old I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. It gave my parents quite a fright to put it mildly. I almost died. So now I need to manually regulate my blood glucose levels. You can’t calculate the right dose of medicine if you don’t know where you’re starting from. That is where blood glucose monitors come in and they have come on such a long way in the 20 years I have been using them!
Think about how much literal time is being spent unwell, to the point where you’re struggling with basic things such as work, the washing up, cooking, getting dressed and showered. Try to picture back to a time you were particularly unwell. Was it the flu, Covid, a broken bone? Consider how much longer all these basic actions took, or how much time passed before you could even do them? Unfortunately for chronically ill people, this is an everyday reality.
My name’s Harriet and I'm an alcoholic. We’ve all heard this before, but I first said this in my early twenties when I tried a 12 step programme for the first time. A few years prior to this I asked my best friend if she thought I was an alcoholic, and after being told in no uncertain terms that I don't drink in the morning so I can't be, I pushed it to the back of my mind.
All of them had: my parents, my teachers, my friends, my pastor. They had lied to me at school, at church, at home. They had kept that information from me, and used that ignorance against me. They had forced me to pretend for years to be someone I was not. They had made me feel pathetic, trapped, suicidal.
But telling me I was a woman wasn’t the last lie they would tell me, and far from the last one I would believe.
Disabled LGBTQ+ folk should not be, and should never have had to consider, giving up something that should ordinarily be a wholesome and enlightening experience. Disabled LGBTQ+ people should not have to forgo the feeling of being special, included, and seen due to inaccessibility. Many people have no experience of their health, wellbeing, and safety being disregarded and therefore put at risk due to a lack of accessibility. Yet disabled people are often made to compromise our health in the name of inclusion or opt out of attending. Why?
Since my early teens, I have carried a sense of shame for being interested in and enjoying sex. I come from a family (and culture) where sex is not openly discussed, and it has taken some considerable effort, discomfort, and re-learning to understand what sexual power means to me and how I can harness it for my overall empowerment.
I broke myself, I closed off, dissociating, derealizing, depersonalizing, putting every feeling in a neat little box and slamming closed the lids. I could not just not feel toward a single person, or several, I had to form disjunction after disjunction in my capacity to feel such ways at all. It is no surprise to me now that in my worst depressive states I admitted to my partner that I did not love them. How could I? I loved no one, by necessity. To play the role of monogamist I had to abandon the pretense of monogamy as growth of purest love.
For several years now, governments in various corners of the UK have been gradually recognising the influence on young people’s mental health of schools/ universities–for better or worse. And it is worth noting, too, that they have a duty of care in common law to their students – both educationally and pastorally, to protect their students’ health, safety and welfare.
Just imagine you come out of a long relationship, so you have tons and megatons of pictures of your ex on your phone…the chances of seeing their face whenever you go left from your home-screen are pretty damn high. Sure, sometimes it helps you relive the highs of June 2019… but it also helps you relive the bad times. The very, very bad times.
And they lived happily ever after…
From the day we are born, we are surrounded by the idea of love, from Prince Charming on horseback to Grandad gently placing a cup of tea next to Grandma as she watches Strictly.
As like most people, I have tried some of the most popular dating apps there are and my honest opinion is that it is a waste of time that’s fulfilled by sucking people in with hope. I
Pornography is all over the internet these days and it has become increasingly normalized to watch it, especially among young adults. But what about people who have never dared to watch any porn? Is it abnormal as a young adult in 2021 to have never found yourself on PornHub’s homepage?
Here we are again with yet another article covering the disparities in society between disabled and non-disabled people. And this time it’s all about sex. I decided to explore this very real ‘issue’ through the lens of the disabled people who ‘suffer’ every day.
After a year of facemasks, hand sanitiser and the 2-metre rule, it’s no wonder 41% of women invested in a new sex toy during lockdown. Whether you’re looking for a new buzzy thing, sucky thing or something for you and your partner, there’s a sex toy just for you. And who better to tell you about it than your favourite influencer?
The changes that occur in a woman’s body have never been a cause for celebration in the West, and I have no doubt that has everything to do with the way women have been demonised throughout history.
Let’s head back to a week prior. It’s Wednesday, 9 am, and as per usual I’m sat cross-legged in my bed in the virtual waiting room, waiting for my therapist to turn up. 5 minutes pass: hmm, she must be running late. 15 minutes: this is strange. 30 minutes: oh god, what if she’s dead? Do I call the police?
I've got bipolar, type 2 to be specific. I don't add that last part to diminish my experience, by the way. Honesty and clarity drove me to do it because I'd hate to seemingly make myself into a spokesman for bipolar when only truly knowing a part of it. So I come out as Type 2 BiPo from the off so that we all know that I'm just a dude talking about one dude's experience.
My experience is not alone, and it is from cultures like this, where the voice and needs of the patient are not listened to, where the ‘doctor knows best’ mentality thrives, that allow people like Dr Perwaiz to flourish.
Self-care is the practice of intentionally doing things that benefit your physical, mental, or spiritual health, and it’s often lauded as the cornerstone of wellbeing and resilience. Little wonder then, that it has become highly commodified and increasingly aspirational: sold as an open-ended quest, the secret to self-care often seems to be just one click and one purchase away. It’s time to get SMART about self-care.
Whilst we follow the singles stories they must take part in group activities, ones that involve girls stripping and wrestling in slime or the men showing off how strong they are and who has the biggest penis. Really gets the stimulates the mind doesn’t it?
Aah, sex. If you read that as a sigh or a scream - same. Sex is everywhere, thrust (don’t) into our faces at every given opportunity during music, film, stage performance, and in almost every advertising and marketing campaign you’ve seen. That isn’t always a bad thing, sex is a very honest part of human life and there isn’t shame in it at all. Where there should be shame however is promoting the idea that you need to be having a certain kind of sex.
When it comes to parenting, many of us aim for “parenting perfection.” But this is unrealistic, and not the best use of parental time and energy in this all-important role. Children don’t want or need perfection and infallibility, rather, they want to be seen, heard, valued, and unconditionally loved.
Ever heard of "YAVIS"? It stands for "Young, Attractive, Verbal, Intelligent, and Successful." No, it’s not a new dating term - YAVIS is an old acronym coined in the 60’s describing the apparently “ideal” therapy client preferred by mental health professionals due to inherent biases. A good 60 years on, with the self-care industry now worth a whopping $450 billion, how prevalent is it still today?