Scrambled by Alice Foxall

“Wake up,” Felix shook me violently until my eyes snapped open. “Time to move.” My eyes blinked sunlight into them as I remembered who I was and what I was doing. Streaks of light flooded in from the shattered glass, oddly placed since it was December. If it actually is December, no one is quite sure anymore. 

“Coast still looks clear, but keep sharp yeah?” Felix didn’t turn to me as he spoke the words, he was far more focused on the view outside the windows. His accent wasn’t what it was when we first met. Occasionally he’d forget to pronounce a T or throw up a gang sign, but it was rarer and rarer these days. The range of his voice was shallow now, something you couldn’t dip your toes and sink into. He spoke more like me now. It made me uncomfortable. 

“I’m always sharp.”

No rules were implemented for the Earth’s plants anymore, so they grew long and free in shades I’d never seen before. If my mother was here, she would name them all as we scurried along. 

“What’s today’s plan?” I was no longer allowed to help plan the days since I wasn’t much of a map reader and couldn’t bear Felix’s tantrums when we disagreed.

“We head East until we hit the Tate. Take a break to eat and do our best to stock up.” If we were making it to the Tate today, we weren’t far from the Checkpoint. “We need to find Holland Street and follow it until Blackfairs Road, then we should see the tube station just past a bank.”

“Are you sure we’ll be able to tell what’s a bank and what isn’t?” I tried to picture the visual features of the bank in my head, but it wavered and slipped like sand through my fingers.

“Here’s hoping.”

At first, Felix had tried to get me to walk faster but eventually decided it was a waste of energy. I was happy at my pace and no amount of fear would change that.

“What bank were you with?”

“What?” He snapped at the sound of my voice, checking I was the source of the noise. 

“When there was money and stuff, who did you give the money to?”

“Ruby, why are you asking me this?” He forged on forwards. His posture was hunched over and I sometimes wondered if he ever stood up straight anymore. Irritation poked into his tone, but I was bored and missed conversation. We spent too much time in silence.

“I was with whatever one my mum set me up an account on. It was purple, I think. No, maybe it was red. Either way I never really went. Whenever I went in, I was just so scared someone would come in and rob the place and I’d become a hostage. Then my first taste of fame would be for something apart from my talent and that would really set back my career.” Felix’s pace slowed. I think it was to allow himself to savour a smile.

“Santander.”

“What?”

“My bank was called Santander.”

Thin air had settled over central London and it smelt like gunpowder. My mother had taken me to the Tate once for an exhibition on cats to accommodate my ‘crazy cat lady needs’. I couldn’t remember anything from the exhibit, but I think the café had a soup I’d liked. Goosebumps pricked my pale skin and I missed the days when I’d step into the central heating and they’d vanish. The river Thames sang next to us in soprano waves. Fish swam between the sheaths of water that was so clear you could see the bones at the bottom. 

“Ruby, Jesus.” Felix yanked me away from the water’s edge I hadn’t realised I’d wandered over to. “Do you want us to be travelling in the dark?” I mumbled something sinful and he rolled his eyes. His hand reached out to mine in a gentle motion signalling an apology, but it changed it’s mind and grabbed my elbow to pull me into step. 

“I’ll give you a boost,” sometimes I thought the only reason I was kept around was to be a lookout. I was thin, well everyone was, but I was thinner. With one push Felix practically threw me onto a van roof. I scoped out the area as best I could without glasses or contacts to help me. “Anything?”

“Can’t see anything, just bodies.”

“You’re sure?” I grunted. I knew I should check again, and again and once more just to be sure. The thing is I was bored of checking at all.

“As sure as I can be.” I hopped off down the roof and as soon as my feet touched the ground there was a synchronous yelp from elsewhere. Felix and I both froze where we stood. The long grass rustled as a new inhabitant made its way over to where it had heard the noise. 

Slowly, Felix moved his hands into the ‘B’ sign we had established. Nodding, I reached behind me to the left pouch of my side pack. Luckily my nails were broken nubs so didn’t clink against the smooth glass of the bottle. In my grip, it was cold but powerful and I leaned my arm back to aim. Felix caught my eye and shook his head while motioning me to give him the bottle. I shook my head back. Why risk more noise by passing the bottle between us? His eyes grew angry and I could see the urge to grab it from me. Fortunately for me, there was no way he would risk the noise. I threw the bottle with all my might and it crashed somewhere to the left of the van. The scuttle in the grass changed course and lunged for the noise. A loud splash sounded, and we released the breaths we’d been holding. I couldn’t help peaking around the van to watch the delicate creature skate across the water like a figure skater on ice. After it was safely out of view, I returned to the next danger; an angry Felix. 

The Tate was now in sight and as much as I was relieved we would soon be taking a break, the way Felix was storming ahead of me meant I couldn’t savour the moment. 

“You gonna talk to me then?” I was over the sulk. He didn’t respond. “Look I threw the bottle and the Scrambler left. Sorry for your loss.” He stayed silent. The Tate doors were grown over with moss and a type of Ivy. I watched him scout out another way in and lift himself up onto a windowsill without waiting for me to follow. Once I’d hauled myself up onto the platform, he was already wrapping his hand in a blanket ready to punch through a window.

“Wait.” There was a rock by his feet which I picked up and readied. “3, 2, 1.” The rock smashed into the floor in the distance in unison with the glass shatter. We’d seen no evidence Scramblers could climb, but there was no use taking the risk.

Once we were inside the Tate I was immediately shocked by how many paintings were missing. It seemed laughable that anyone would steal something that would inevitably become worthless. What were they planning to decorate with it? Who would want to buy it from them? The larger paintings still stood tall and glared down on us. Frame corners were crumbled on the floor and the paintings looked sadder and greyer than they should have. 

We settled on two benches back to back and I took off my shoes to examine today’s damage. Two blisters were healing quite nicely but the back of my heal was still grimy from where I’d cut it back in Nottingham. Behind me, Felix gulped down some water and an energy bar that had expired only a year ago. I dug into my bag and found a tin of sardines I’d been thinking about since this morning. 

“You told me the coast was clear,” Felix muttered, but the grand hall was loud enough for me to hear.

“What did you want me to do? Get into the grass on all fours and call out?” I fished out a sardine between my fingers and relished in the saltiness. 

“When I ask you to scout out an area, I mean listen as well as look. Even smell man. I don’t just mean check out the view and lead me right into danger.”

“Look, I missed one Scrambler and that’s stupid, I get it. But we’re fine and we’re here so why are we still talking about it?”

“Because Ruby one day you’re ‘one missed Scrambler’ is going to kill us both.” If he wasn’t scared of making lots of noise, he would be shouting. Inside voices were the new yelling. I knew he was right. Out of the two of us it was clear he was carrying me through everything, and I was just a tag along. There was no reason for him to keep me with him. Except for the fact he loved me.

“I’m sorry. I should have been more careful.” I leaned my head back gently and it made contact with his. He rose from his seat and ran his fingers through his hair. 

“Yeah. You should have.”

A few weeks ago on a supply hunt, we had found hair bleach and spent the night rubbing it all into each other’s hair. The next day we each found a shard of what might have been a mirror and fell about laughing at the mess we’d made. Mine had been cut off quite quickly, especially after my last hair tie broke. His hair hadn’t grown as fast and was now half chocolate brown and half gingery yellow. It was also caked in dirt. 

“Look once we get to the checkpoint it won’t be just us anymore. You won’t have to put up with my mistakes, I’m sure they won’t send me out on supply hunts.” He scoffed, he agreed with me there at least. “I’m sure they will for you though. You’ll probably be in charge of a big group of people sent out to get supplies for us when we need them.”

“You want to get your head out my ass Ruby?” His back was still to me but at least he’d stopped pacing. I got up and walked towards him tentatively.

“They’ll probably make you the captain of the squad. You’ll get a walkie talkie and speak in Morse code to the base and every week they’ll have a captain of the week and you’ll win the most and everyone will joke that it’s rigged but secretly know, you’re just the best of them all.” I was behind him now and slid my hands around his hips. He turned to me with a sigh and let me kiss him softly. 

“You’re so annoying.”

“It’s part of my charm.”

We finished eating and drinking and collected our rucksacks.

“What do you think they’ll have me do?” I sparked chat now I felt it was safe to do so.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, they must have a bunch of people there who can’t go out to get supplies. Like what if someone has asthma, or is too young, or has a broken leg. There must be jobs for people like that who make clothes or clean water or something important.” I smiled at the idea of me dying a fabric blue to match the windbreaker Felix used to wear. 

“Oh for sure. And I bet they have singers and baristas too just in case they need them.” I didn’t appreciate the sarcasm. I would love to be their singer.

“I’m being serious, can’t you see me as a seamstress?” He chuckled, then turned serious when he realised, I was not joking.

“You don’t actually think it’s going to be like that when we get there Rub.” My facial expression told him I did.

“Ruby, I know this is probably gonna start a fight, but are you fucking stupid?”

“They sent out the checkpoint alert to get everyone alive to one place so we could build up society again, that’s the whole point!” Our peaceful tone hadn’t lasted very long.

“Yeah for sure. They sent everyone across the whole country a message to get to London truly believing they would all make it.” He was being sarcastic still but I believed his statement was true. “Think about it Rub, they know what Scramblers do and how hard it is to get anywhere when all there is is a freezing Winter and not a single sign of help.”

“We survived.”

“What if we didn’t have the horses? What if they had died before Milton Keynes and we’d had to walk all the way from Manchester? Would we have survived? Absolutely not. No one else out there is gonna have horses available to them. We got seriously lucky. We still are only just getting lucky.”

“So why would they call everyone to one place if they don’t want to save them?”

“Ruby come on put it together. The best way to destroy the Scramblers is to wipe out anything that can make one. That means wiping out-”

“Humans.” I finished. 

“My bets are they bomb everywhere with an infestation and any survivors they find, they’ll say never made it to the checkpoint. They refused to follow the instructions and it was their own fault they were blown to bits.”

“No. No they wouldn’t do that! They want to save the human race, otherwise there’s no point trying to destroy the Scramblers anyway. They’ll have plans to deal with them I’m sure but there’s no way they’ll kill people just to save themselves.”

“Ha. You can tell which one of us studied politics. That’s all governments do. If you’re not out on supply runs, I’ll tell you what they’ll have you doing; building bombs.”

My hands were shaking as we moved forward down a main road. The concrete had withheld off the plant take over, the Scramblers wouldn’t show themselves in the open like this. Any excitement I’d had over the weeks we’d spent travelling to finally get here had dissipated and been replaced with something much stranger. Disappointment. I should have been angry or upset or both, but there just wasn’t enough scope of emotion for those anymore. Things that made you angry or upset were so common now that I’d become numb to them both. They were like toxic friends I was too invested in to let go of.

“I’m sorry. I know that was harsh.” He didn’t need to apologise. He was smart enough to know that the only thing scarier than a Scrambler, was me in a rage.

“You were right though.” We resumed the silence. Honestly, I think he was silenced by the shock I’d admitted he was right for once.

“Look! Holland Street!” He pointed up at an old office building with the street name plastered on, obscured by winding vines. He waited for me to show some excitement or offer a high five as I had at every other closing in point so far. I watched it dawn on him that he had killed my eagerness. He killed my dream. 

How much time passed, I couldn’t tell you. I stared at my feet for most of the trip and thought out how the laces looked like crossed wires. 

“Rubs,” Felix was grinning. “We’re here.”

Lambeth North was quite an underwhelming tube station. I’d always come into Kings Cross growing up and anything without a McDonald’s set up near it didn’t match its standards. So far there was no sign of human life but I wasn’t sure if that’s what I wanted anymore.

“Felix…” He paused in his half run up to the shutters. “If everything you said is true, why are we still doing this?” The idea had been caught in my web of thoughts since we left the Tate.

“You can’t be serious.” His tone told me now was no time to think hard, but it was too late.

“I don’t want to work to blow people up.” My eyes armed themselves with tears before I could stop them.

“Rubs,” he sighed and walked back to me and took each of my hands in his “I have no idea what’s in there for us. Sure, I don’t think what you were picturing will be right, but maybe what I’m picturing is wrong too. The point is we won’t know until we get in there. If we don’t like it we will find a way out I promise you. But Ruby I’m sick of just surviving, I need something to live for.” His words cut deep. I was no longer enough to give him the will to live. He still was for me though so I nodded and we opened the shutters and descended. 

The light didn’t reach beyond the bottom of the escalator, so Felix lit his torch, since his was the only one with batteries left. 

“What are we supposed to do now?” I spoke instead of whispering, if anyone was down here they had heard us come down the steps and I wanted them to know we were approaching. There was a faint dripping in the distance and the smell of expired meat in the air.

“I’m not really sure. Maybe we should-” light suddenly beamed brightly from all sides and we instinctively pulled our guns from out our holsters. Back to back position was assumed as our eyes adjusted in the light.

“Freeze!” A man in ragged camouflage pointed a gun at me and by the way Felix’s back tensed against mine, I knew he was seeing the same sight. We were surrounded. 

I opened my mouth to explain. Then a shot was fired.


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Written by Alice Foxall

Hi I'm Alice, I'm a 21-year-old biomedical science student living in London. I have a passion for science, breaking stigmas and maybe a cheeky story every once in a while. I love hash brown fries and if you haven't tried them you're missing out.