The Superiority Complex of Music
I have been passionate about music for as long as I can remember; going to concerts with friends when I was in school, being forced to listen to Absolute Radio 80s in the car with my dad, dancing to 60s Northern soul music at The Lanes every Saturday when I was 18.
My taste in music has developed and expanded as I got older and I have always been hugely influenced by my parent’s music (80’s rock or 70’s disco and soul) and my friends music (anything from Artic Monkeys and MGMT to Tame Impala and Jamie T). A lot of my friends are musicians or are massively into music and the more people I met, particularly in Bristol, the more I realised that there was a caveat when it came to what music was considered to be socially acceptable.
I couldn’t pin down what the rules were when it came to what I should be listening to. I remember, several years ago, when I heard Robin S, Show Me Love, playing and I turned to a friend and said this was one of my mum’s favourite songs and therefore one of my mine and he pulls this face and goes “God, my mum listens to Thin Lizzy, not this disco shit”. I felt shocked that there seemed to be a competition on who had the better music taste as though our personality is point-based and not liking a certain type of music does not score you very many points. It turns out I’m not actually that good friends with this person anymore but the memory, and the feeling of judgement that came along with it, has always stuck with me.
I hated that I couldn’t talk about some of my favourite bands to some of my friends because they would mock and disparage them. It was belittling to be surrounded by people who thought they were better than me because they believed their music taste to be better. I remember another time, when I came home after watching Florence and the Machine at Glastonbury in 2015 (a spiritual experience as they are one of my favourite bands) and I couldn’t stop talking about them, about how much their performance affected me. However, a friend of mine only rolled his eyes and belittled my excitement by saying that Foo Fighters would have been way better – I mean, really? This was mainly from the time I turned 18 and, recently, I have noticed people becoming more accepting, and even more interested in who you like to listen, the older you get. It has taken me several years to finally feel comfortable when it came to discussing my favourite artists with different people.
However, even now, when meeting new people, there still seems to be a superiority complex to those who think my music isn’t “good music”. I met some friends of a friend while out in Bristol (all musicians so there may be an underlying theme here) and when I said my music ranged from The Cure, Mura Masa and Dave to Charli XCX, King Princess and Jorja Smith, you would have thought I spat on them. The complete lack of understanding and the judgement that comes with discussing different genres of music to people only makes it difficult to open up and have a conversation. This is because I now fear I’m going be judged for having a “socially unacceptable” music taste.
People consider certain genres of music to be shallow and meaningless, as though every song you listen to should have a deeper meaning and significance. Are we not allowed to like a song because it reminds us of a good time? Because it makes us want to dance? Because it makes us think of a certain someone? I have different artists and different playlists for whatever mood I’m in on that particular day.
There is a similar critique when it comes to discussing films however, I find, it is never to the same extent. Discussing films with other people, allows people to be opinionated and honest; it invites a healthy discussion about why this is your favourite film and why people should watch. Whereas, when discussing music, instead of discussions, there are sly remarks, rude facial expressions and complete disbelief at how one of the above could possibly be one of my favourite artists.
Nobody likes to feel patronized or judged for what they listen to, what they watch or what they read. Like many things, music is a truly personal thing; it can make you laugh, make you cry, make you think of both happy and sad memories. It is no one else’s business on why you connect with a song and you should NEVER be made to feel embarrassed by who you listen to.
I’ve come to learn that if I can’t share something as personal as my music taste with friends, then they aren’t really my friends.
Written by Issy Packer
Hi! I’m Issy, I’m 23 years old and I’m an English Literature graduate currently living in Bristol. I’m very passionate about a number of things including travelling, writing, reading, film, music and feminism.