Can You Date A Tory?
Of course you can. Who is to limit who you can date? The question is: do you want to date a Tory?
The number of millennial men and women who prioritise similar political preference over sexual performance increased from 2004-2016 by 165%, according to a survey carried out by OkCupid. The thrills of a good time in bed have taken a back seat in the hunt for a perfect partner. Whether you’re into BoJos seems much more important. But why is that? Why the sudden shift in political turn-offs in dating?
Firstly, there has been a surge in youthful engagement with politics over the past few years. Ever since Brexit, there has been a new importance placed on the need for young people to be informed about current affairs and governance. An issue that many of Gen Z would not have thought about until brought into consideration in the 2016 referendum, Brexit was a wake-up call for us to invest in our political identities. The whole generation got involved, sectioning people off as blue or red. Britain’s two party politics filtered right down into dating preferences.
You either have a rose in your bio or you retweet Matt Hancock. It always seems so binary. But the irony I see with Tory-hunting on Tinder, is that if you are truly a political person, you will engage with all arguments. Being open to talk and spend time with people of all opinions is truly engaging with politics. Politics isn’t just two parties quarrelling, it’s a spectrum of ideologies and principles in application to real life problems. Life changes, wars happen, referendums take place and people’s opinions change. Seats swing and to have such a definitive approach to dating, that you would ‘never’ date a Tory or a Lib Dem or whatever, is to actually limit political engagement in your love life.
It is also a rarity, that every single bill and MP of a party, is one that a voter will agree with. You may tactically vote, you may love the recent work of one MP but hate the last PM your party had. Parties shift and with that goes the voter's opinion and loyalty. There is space for nuance and varying levels of faith of voters in their party. If you chatted to one, you might find out.
It is a different story however, if you don’t want to date someone you know you will continually disagree with. If you want someone you will always canvas with, always go to party events with, always know how they will vote, then by all means, limit your romantic candidates based on politics. If that’s what you want, then who is to tell you otherwise. If politics is a core part of what you think makes someone worthwhile spending time with, then yes. If you know you will be arguing all the time about fundamental beliefs, then yes. If the way someone votes is a defining characteristic of whether you like someone or not, then go ahead.
But I invite you to consider why do you want politics to play such a fundamental role in your romantic life; is politics really about ethics to you? Do you see the opposing party as morally wrong? Or is it just the principle of sleeping with the enemy who has been in office for a decade? It isn’t a bad thing to have varying opinions in your life; if you are strong enough in your own individual beliefs, how important is it that the person you date agrees? Not a criticism, just a question.
To challenge, nuance and develop yourself through experiencing life and its people, in all their differences, is to me, to live a political life. Of course you can date a Tory. Of course you can also pledge to never touch the stuff. But what if, 40 years into your marriage, a new referendum, Prime Minister, public crisis, sways your spouse, and they vote Tory for the first time in their lives? What do you do then?
Written by Lydia Waller
Lydia is 21 year old Nigel Slater enthusiast. Lydia is a writer and literature graduate, with a particular passion for injecting the art of hosting into younger generations. You can find her sporting a constant bloat from all the food she cooks for her friends.