Get Over Yourself, We’re Only Disabled
This article is comprised of two chapters from Abbie Smart’s book about disabilities, ‘Get Over Yourself, We’re Only Disabled’.
Chapter One: Talk to us not over us and not for us!
Well, I can’t explain how much I love this chapter ‘talk to us, not over us or not for us’. So many people with disabilities communicate in such unique and special ways that allows them to get their message across. This might include speech in general, sign language, gestures, assistive technology or with facial expressions/ eye movements. Whatever supports the individual, people must make time and allowances for the person to be able to get their message across.
Experiences that I have of this include the fact that people think that because I am in a wheelchair I don’t understand what they are saying, so talk to the person who is with me. This frustrates me a lot because I know how to hold a conversation. I like it when people take the time to have a conversation with me take the time to allow me to answer them back. They might not understand a few words I have said at first, but I repeat what I have said or use my communication aid to support my speech but I would say 90% of the time, the person has understood what I have said after the first or second time of me saying what I wanted to say.
Whatever allows people to get their message across and get the correct response from people is key; it would be help greatly if people gave the individual time and correct resources to support them to communicate as easy as possible. People with a speech disorder might rely on many different ways of speaking and this might mean for some people being able to use their voice or for others, they might be reliant on a commutation device. I can communicate using my voice, however I have a speech assist on my iPad for the times when people struggle to understand and I always try to speak but my iPad is like my final destination. This doesn’t bother me because I like to make sure the person has understood what I have said. I don’t like to leave the conversation with the person unsure what I have said and I hate the person to feel guilty or sad because they wasn’t able to have the conversation they wanted to have with me.
Sometimes I think, are people scared or worried about what to say or do, but I always say to people just talk to us like any other person. Some people might not be able to respond or might take a while to respond but they are listening and responding in their own way. I have come across lots of individuals that can or can’t talk , but we try to make the best of what we have and use the tools that we have to be able to connect. I really love meeting people like this as it allows me to form a special bond between different individuals. I feel lucky to be able to have a connection with lots of people with different types of communication.
I think if the whole world communicated and spoke like each other, the world would be a very boring place. We need a variety of different ways to speak to keep us interested and wanting to learn more about each other. It’s a bit like people that learn a different language because they want to communicate with people in a certain country, however we might sound differently such as accents or language barriers yet we still mean the same thing.
Going back to the title of this section, try not to talk for us just because it might be quicker or easier; let us have a go and then we might ask for support but always encourage us to communicate in our own way. This is a for us to have the real life practice that we need. Talk to us, not over us and not for us!
Chapter 2: Sometimes people like different ways to be spoken to - respect this
Thinking of the different types of disabilities in the world, people with a disability will respond to other people, and sometimes may need to be spoken to in a specific way for them to be able to understand. Sometimes people might prefer being spoken to just like everyone else, however, some people might need more special attention when being spoke to such as the person might need to be spoken to slower so they can listen and pick up what the person is saying or they might enjoy listening to different sounds people make to entertain individuals. Some people with a brain injury can take longer to listen to what people are saying, because it takes their brain longer to process the information before responding.
For instance, I don’t mind being spoken to quickly, however I find it difficult to pick up important information and remember it when there are lots of other things going on at the time. So I prefer to be spoken to clearly and be sure I know what is going on before I start doing the next thing that I am going to do. I know some people like to be spoken to in stages so they can retain the information and follow through with whatever they need to do with the information, whether it’s just a conversation, instructions or news , it might take some people different lengths of time to understand and respond and then they can take in the stage of the conversation.
Some individuals with disabilities such as cerebral palsy and autism may have sensitive hearing and things like shouting or talking abruptly, may startle some people as it is very sudden and it can frighten them. I know how this feels as I have seen people go into a scared and shy mood and try to get out away from the noise as quickly as possible or they might show a very stressed behaviour and get upset. The best recommendation to support the individual to calm down and feel safe is to take them away from the situation and distract them from the noise. Everyone must be aware of their noise levels when around people with sensitive hearing.
It’s not just about getting your message across to the person, it’s supporting them so they can understand what you are saying and why you are saying it. Like myself, I sometimes get confused or forget what somebody has said especially it’s about a time of something or a specific place I need to be. So it’s just making sure people just break down what they are saying to just allow the person to keep up with the conversation. This is not all of the time and some people with disabilities are very good at keeping up with a conversation but sometimes they might need prompting or reminding them of what has been said. When the brain has been damaged, it may cause them to have a short term memory or find it difficult to pick relevant information out. They may need reminding at times of what has been said or done.
Not all the time, but sometimes people look at someone with a disability and speak to them as if they were a young child. This frustrates me a lot and I can’t stand this when people do this to me. I just want to point out that, just because we are disabled and may be in a wheelchair, it doesn’t mean we don’t understand. Sometimes people that are in wheelchairs might be unable to walk or they might have a leg or back problem; whatever is wrong with them, it doesn’t mean that because they are in a wheelchair they don’t understand what is being said. It is all to do with trying to see past the disability and just focus on how beautiful and unique the person is. They might be disabled but everyone has many other special qualities about them.
Written by Abbie Smart
My name is Abbie Smart and I have cerebral palsy, I have written a book about disabilities and my experiences with cerebral palsy. This is a extract from my book and I really enjoyed writing this as I love the fact it’s all my own words. I hope you enjoy reading this extract from my book ‘Get Over Yourself... We’re Only Disabled!”