Has That Friendship Sailed? A Guide on Making Friends.
Making friends is something inherent to all animals. We all know how dogs make friends by having a cheeky bottom sniff, elephants essentially hug their stressed-out friends, and meerkats form their bonds by alerting their mates if they are about to be gobbled by a snake. Most animal friendships rely upon survival and I’m sure many humans also regard their friends to be their saving grace. However, does this primal instinct of making friends become something we struggle with the older we get?
Friendships are a fickle thing, but seemingly easier when you are younger. I remember making the acquaintance of two of my (still) best friends at a young age. One I pestered over our garden fence as she complimented my pet rabbit, the other I charmed by complimenting her monkey earrings. I know for a fact if I tried either of these techniques with these two individuals at the age of 22 I’d be met with a ‘what are you doing hanging over my garden fence’ and a ‘please stop prodding my ear’. Over the years I’ve had to adapt my approach to acquainting and have managed rather successfully, given the fact that I received THREE birthday cards in the particularly friendful year of 2018. Now I’m not suggesting that we copy the techniques of our canine friends, as I believe that will do anything except cause people to be your friends. So, I have decided to gift humanity with my extensive knowledge and top tips of how to make friends in the hope that we will all receive three cards on our respective birthdays. You’re welcome my friend.
1) Sing your friend a song.
The majority of people love when strangers burst into song! This is not only a good way to make new friends but a fantastic way to maintain them. In fact, I have one friend who I solely communicate to through the medium of song. Thanks to the technology that is ‘voice notes’ this has also been made possible whilst social distancing. I like to incorporate our daily conversations into a song that goes something like ‘Hellloooooo my friend, hope you had a good da-a-a-aaay. Today I had a tuna ba-a-a-a-agel for my lunch, hope you had a nice lunch tooooooo’. I think the change in harmonies adds to the theatricality of it all as well, and really draws attention to the true event that my friendship is.
2) Give your friend a gift.
People love gifts! So why not let them know how valued they truly are with a gift. You could always gift your friend a potato on their birthday. I get mine from a site called textapotato.com, where you can write that special someone a loving message on a giant potato to let them know you’re thinking of them. I’ve also gifted a friend with a commissioned portrait of her favourite washing up gloves as a reminder of her favourite activity. Gifts don’t just have to be for special occasions, sometimes you can give a gift just because it’s a Tuesday. Many times I have been known to leave some communal biscuits out on the table to let my flatmates know how much I loved them (and also to divert the attention away from the fact I had drank all the milk and forgotten to re-buy it for the third day in a row).
3) Let your friend know you’re thinking of them often.
Making the special people in your life aware of how often you think of them really shows your caring and considerate side. I once saw an article online branding the title ‘depressed goat reunited with it’s best friend: a donkey’. I immediately sent this to my friend with warmth in my heart that she knew our friendship was always on my mind. You should also make a note of anything your friend shows an interest in and be sure to bombard their text messages with any content you find relating to this online. One of my friends likes cows, and much like that video of the Queen and Prince Philip at a farmer’s market, I always make sure to excitedly point out any cows we see on our travels.
So there we have it, my top three tips for making friends as an adult. Making friends is like breaking in a new pair of trainers, the more you wear them down the more comfortable they are with you. And on that note, I would like to personally like to thank all the friends I’ve referenced above. Who, for some reason can’t bring themselves to bin me and still keep me in their lives- much like a manky pair of smelly old trainers.
Written by Sam Turnbull
Sam has just graduated from Newcastle University where she studied English Literature and French. Sam has recently moved back home with her parents and enjoys long walks with her dog George, pints of Desperados on draft, karaoke, pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.