Ingrained: Why Are We Trained to Feel Fear Walking Home?
Sarah Everard went missing on the way home from a friends house on the 3rd of March 2021. Then a serving Metropolitan police officer was arrested in connection with the case. He has since appeared in court, being charged with the kidnap and murder of Sarah Everard.
I originally wrote this on the 14th of March 2021. It was a stream of thoughts that I wanted to write down after *that week*. I spent *that week* refreshing my journalism Twitter feed, just hoping that maybe the next refresh would reward me with good news and the headline everyone wanted to see. It never came though. Collectively we grieved, for Sarah and all the others. For our sisters, our mothers, our neighbours, our teachers. It's important we carry on this conversation and not let it fizzle out, along with the headlines, so we wanted to publish this now to remind everyone that there’s going to be many more Sarahs.
It’s there, behind every decision we make, even if we aren’t aware. It's as subconscious as locking the door or turning off your hair straighteners.
I’m getting off the bus now, pulling out one headphone, quickening my pace and getting my keys out my purse. Although, the bus was scary too. I’m glad no one sat with me. It’s only a five minute walk, there’s an alleyway though, that could be a problem, I’ll ring my friend. I need to tell my housemates I'll be home soon. I turn on a podcast. Isn’t that what everyone does when they're walking home?
A fleeting thought, if anything happens to me they’ll say I shouldn't have been listening to it. A girl listening to a podcast whilst she walks home? How dumb, what was she expecting. At least I'm wearing jeans.
Footsteps. Shit. I haven’t rung anyone yet. I glance behind me. Don’t be too obvious. Deep breath.
Exhale.
It’s a woman.
I’m at my street now. I hope no one sees what house I go into.
Fumbling with the keys, I forgot I was clutching as a car goes by. Hopefully its just a neighbour coming home, not a stalker.
It could be a neighbour and a stalker though.
I made it home. Another lucky journey. Sarah wasn’t lucky.
These aren’t thoughts I consciously have though. They're ingrained, a part of every outing.
Written by Heather Nicholls
My name is Heather and I’m currently a second year Criminology Student! I’ve recently been getting into journalism because I am really interested and passionate about politics, telling people's stories and other current affairs. I also love making youtube videos, reading, baking and playing the flute.