Losing Friends Along the Way
The first thing that sprung to my mind whilst brainstorming for this piece was Ed Sheeran’s song ‘Castle on a Hill’. One of the verses fits perfectly with my experiences with friendships as I have grown up:
‘One friend left to sell clothes
One works down by the coast
One had two kids, but lives alone
One's brother overdosed
One's already on his second wife
One's just barely getting by, but
These people raised me
And I can't wait to go home’
I’m lucky enough to have maintained long and strong friendships, still being friends with four amazing girls that I went to primary school with, despite the fact that as we’ve grown older we are doing completely different things and growing in completely different ways and even places.
Of course, there have been years or months when we have been closer, seen each other more or less but ultimately every time we meet up, we have so much to catch up on and so many years of memories to reminisce.
In a way, the Coronavirus pandemic has given us time together that we wouldn’t have usually had. I have been home from University, so whenever we have been allowed to meet friends for walks my childhood friends have been the ones that I’ve been able to see.
I also have other friends that I've gathered along the way. My amazing secondary school friends, a couple of people from college and my University friends. Each one is different and each one I treasure.
This so far, may sound perfect, but of course there’s also been those who have dropped off of my path. Some of these, I just talk to less, some I realised we were never really that close. We all have those friends in secondary school who were only friends with out of convenience, right?
It gets harder as you get older too. I can’t imagine having to make friends outside of an educational setting. Esra Dillon expressed her views on friendship by telling me that ‘when we are in high school and college, it’s easier to make friends because we are surrounded by groups of people with similar interests. However, as we get older, we lose this access and have to decide whether or not to befriend co-workers, which may come with its own complications. As people age, they prioritize the type of individuals they want around them. We hold onto our main group of friends versus maintaining associates’
I also spoke to Olga Garcia who explained to me how her friendships changed when she went travelling. She said,
“My friendships have changed a lot. I have been traveling since 2016, previously studied in Italy and I am from Barcelona. Throughout my life I have lived in many places and that brought me to make incredible friends all over. Of course once you move, the friendships suffer but I would say that the greatest friends are always there. Those people with whom you have become very close, are there forever, are there to understand your new lifestyle and adapt to it. In this point of my life, I have probably 4 great friends that no matter the time apart we are still connected just like before, as if years didn’t affect us. As you grow up and mostly if you travel, you change as a person, you mature, the experiences make you different and you feel the impact of that when you come back home, especially for those who haven’t moved, and you feel that you no longer fit. You are now different, and your realities are so different that it is hard to understand each other. Although, if friendship is true, just like love, it can overpass anything. Probably, for people that travel, the biggest effect is the different realities, mindsets, points of view, opinions that travellers acquire when abroad, these things make them very different from people who have stayed.”
Friendships are so different for everyone and they change so much depending on where your journey takes you.
So, here’s to sisterhood, the forever friends, the childhood best friend you lost touch with, the girl you sat next to in your Year 9 science class and the University friends that become a second family. Here's to the lessons that each friendship teaches us and here’s to all those friendships still to come
Written by Heather Nicholls
My name is Heather and I’m currently a second year Criminology Student! I’ve recently been getting into journalism because I am really interested and passionate about politics, telling people's stories and other current affairs. I also love making youtube videos, reading, baking and playing the flute.