Selfies: A Form of Self-Love or Self-Construction?
What is Self-love?
A face mask and a cocktail, another clothes order this month, putting on some make-up, or 15 minutes of ‘alone time’ with your special ‘friend’? All good options. But would you add taking a selfie to that list?
The selfie – a modern phenomenon – is the definition of self-love. Loving yourself enough to want to capture that moment in a photograph. For some, selfies are narcissistic. To me, selfies are a celebration of confidence and self-love – it takes a certain level of confidence to take a photo of yourself and a pinch more to share that photo on social media. Apps like Instagram thrive on selfies; in fact, research shows selfies get 38% more likes than other photos on social media. Scrolling through my Instagram alone, almost all of the photos I see are selfies – with comments of numerous fire emojis, heart emojis and “you look gorgeous”, “says you, beautiful”. Girls supporting girls at its finest.
But offline, we might see a different perspective of social media. A perspective where “you look gorgeous” translates to “I wish I looked like them”. A perspective that has seen in 1 in 3 surgeons receiving increasing requests for surgery for the purpose of looking better on social media. In a poll, 48% of us admitted to deleting a selfie because it didn’t get enough likes and 43% said they have re-uploaded selfies in the hopes of more likes at a different time. Someone even suggested the perfect time to upload a selfie is 6:09pm – very specific.
I’d say the majority of the selfies I take end up on social media – whether it’s because I’ve done my make-up, dyed my hair or even been a little bored. There’s no shame in that. Selfies are empowering. Think about it, the reason you upload that selfie or take it in the first place is because you liked the way you look; you feel cute, or powerful or beautiful. And we should applaud that.
So is there a difference between taking selfies for ourselves and taking selfies for social media? Where does self-love become self-construction?
Self-construction can be defined as the representation of oneself and their identity. Doesn’t sound like a bad thing, does it? But what if the image we are creating through social media impacts how we view ourselves and others. Perhaps we slip into self-construction when we rely too much on the reaction to the photo we’ve posted than the love for ourselves we felt when we took it.
Thirst-trap, clout, catfish – all words that before apps such as Instagram and Snapchat we would never have heard of. You put on a suggestive selfie, flash a little bit of skin – it’s “who’s she put that up for? Thirst-trap much”. Start following trends and posting about them and suddenly you’re “chasing clout” (don’t worry – even I had to google this one and I’m 22). Use a filter and congratulations, you’re now a catfish. Social media has created a platform where we openly judge those for posting images of themselves that make them feel good.
Possibly it’s because these same photos make us feel bad. Because social media not only opens the door to our friends and families world’s, but the world of celebrity and influencers.
And more importantly the world of filters. Skin smoothing, a thinner nose, freckles, a smaller waist, whiter teeth, bigger boobs. Influencers we follow online showcase the perfect look, the perfect lifestyle, even the perfect sky [Yes, there’s an app for that too]. Our feeds are full of self-construction, influencers promoting products not confidence. A snapshot of somebody’s life stylised to look perfect.
But the effect of these images can be so damaging to our mental health. For example, take the recent Kendall Jenner Instagram post; where the supermodel posted behind-the-scenes photos from her latest bikini shoot for her sister Kim Kardashian’s Skims brand. She looks flawless; legs taller than the Eiffel Tower, abs that I could only dream of and (I’m sorry to say it) a vagina smoother than humanly possible. That’s just it though isn’t it, the body Kendall Jenner is showing here isn’t humanly possible. Whether it be filters or Photoshop or (if we’re being kind) a trick of the light, the photo has gained over 12 million likes and comments include “perfection” and “Barbie Body”. Not exactly a realistic expectation is it? I thought we’d got over Barbie and her unproportioned body.
Of course, the Kendall Jenner issue shows self-construction at its extreme – nobody looks like that. And, I imagine nobody I know has to deal with the life she has that revolves around maintaining this image.
But maybe in an effort to emulate these influencers or to fit in with the other photos we see online, more of us than ever are posting filtered photos. 65% of us admit to using filters in our selfies but the majority of us say these are adjustments to lighting or filters readily available on snapchat or Instagram and that we would never alter our body. Maybe this is because we’re aware of the damage it could cause to others or maybe it’s because we’re scared of being called out just like the influencers we follow. If you could get away with taking an inch off your thighs or whitening your teeth, would you?
So how do we maintain self-love in our selfies and not fall into the world of self-construction? How do we keep our selfies about us and our love of the images we take and not about the approval or viewpoint of others?
It starts with how we use social media.
We have to be able to notice what is a constructed image – created to fit with a feed or show the best moment of that person’s day. We have to try not to rely on likes and comments for validation. If you feel beautiful, it’s because you are and even when you don’t, just by the way, you still are. We have to check in with ourselves and realise that when we begin to feel upset using social media then it’s okay to take a break or delete the app all together. It’s also okay to mute or unfollow accounts that you find damaging to your mental health or wellbeing.
There are also plenty of lovely accounts that are inspiring and real. Just hop over to Chessie King or Bodyposipanda and you’ll see a plethora of self-love and positivity.
So take selfies, post them, keep them for yourself. Love yourself and the way you look. Celebrate that. And if you want to use a filter, go for it -- just remember that if you are, so many others are too.
Written by Lily Smith
Hi I’m Lily, a recent Plymouth Uni English Graduate who can often be found watching Netflix, reading the latest Liane Moriarty novel or drinking dubious amounts of Vodka and Fanta Fruit Twist at the weekends and belting my heart out to Little Mix – don’t worry, all currently over Zoom. Oh, and if you haven’t guessed, I love a selfie. You can find me on Instagram @lilysmithwrites_98 or have a browse at my portfolio here: https://lilyjsmith55.wixsite.com//lilysmithwriter where I talk all things feminism and women’s lifestyle.