Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone Is Overrated
We live in a world where two forces oppose themselves. At one end of the spectrum we have comfort (sounds positive) which can eventually be associated with laziness (sounds rather negative). On the other end of the spectrum is discomfort. Interestingly, while discomfort might not be something that one would assume we should be seeking, it is also something that typically comes hand in hand with great things, at different levels: learning, exercising, facing new experiences, to name a few, and it is why we are often encouraged to “step out of our comfort zone”.
There is a paradox surrounding the concept of comfort. We all love it and are drawn by it, yet are often encouraged to avoid it.
Picture a person, let’s call them Dominic, who has been in the same job for many years, making decent pay, working for a large company, repeating the same tasks day in, day out—having mastered their job so well that they do not even need to think about it anymore. They can rely on their knowledge, without the need to learn anything new or to push themselves, in any way.
This might sound like a boring life for most of us. We might be inclined to encourage Dominic to challenge themselves, climb the ranks in their company, or change jobs. But what is so wrong with the life that Dominic is leading? Comfortable, decent pay, without the need to push themselves or go through unpleasant periods to get somewhere better. Even if Dominic were to climb the ranks or start in that next job, would they really be better off? Would they not simply be facing the exact same issue, sometime later down the line?
I believe we are often challenged to step out of our comfort zones. We do it without considering the very possibility that it might not be a great idea. I am convinced that this challenge often does not come from within; instead, it usually comes from an external pressure, such as a parent, aunt or uncle. Or perhaps it is the shadow of a whisper which fell into your subconscious at some point in early life: a teacher who you admired when you were 6, a parent’s advice at the age of 9.
There is also a significant force at play here: the impact that others have upon us. We might admire our friend Jerry who quit his six-figure job and decided to leave his extended group of friends in London and move to São Paulo to pursue his dream career in cooking. This perhaps is a further driver to rethink your life in London due to an admiration for Jerry’s seemingly amazing new beginning which you have been observing on social media. But did it ever cross your mind that in reality, Jerry is miserable in São Paulo? Now it might be the case that you came to the conclusion on your own.
However, despite everything I have said so far, I believe that occasionally being uncomfortable can be a boundless and life-affirming experience. I also think that we should acknowledge comfort for what it is. I see it as a state where new things aren’t learnt very often, life feels repetitive and without real challenges. Granted, these are all negative sounding concepts, but wouldn’t we expect them to be accompanied by things such as lack of stress, less frequent questioning and existential crises? If we can just be content with what we have, and focus on that, rather than constantly seeking something else for the sake of stepping out of our comfort zone, wouldn’t that lead to a higher chance for happiness, provided we can be in the right state of mind for it?
There is one example which I like to give to illustrate the potential beauty of comfort - a simple anecdote, which I am not even sure is true but serves my point regardless. There is a sushi restaurant in Japan where the sushi master is 80 years old. His son, who is in late 50s, is his apprentice. The father has been teaching his craft to his son for his entire life, yet he still does not deem the rice he makes good enough to move on to work on the fish. When I first heard this story, I felt bad for the son and imagined that I would advise him to get another job and work under another sushi master. I guess I would have given him the advice to step out of his comfort zone. But then I took a step back and considered that perhaps the son never asked himself this question. Maybe he might be content repeating the same task, day in, day out, mastering his craft. He might very well be comfortable, but that does not prevent him from doing great things. It might not prevent him from a sense of fulfilment. Who knows, his state of mind could be a stepping stone towards happiness?
The next time you consider the prospect of leaving an established group of friends or family and abandoning the knowledge of a city or town to move abroad, I hope you will spend some time thinking about why such a move is of interest to you. When you consider quitting your job where you are an expert for another one which you have no experience in, I would be touched if you recall this article, and take a step back to examine the deep down rationale behind the decision. I think we all have our motivations for doing new and potentially scary things in life. Some of them might be a consequence of our fears, while others are likely distant memories of a forgotten past. Deconstruct them!
Written by Raphael Lenain
Raphael lives in London, where he works for a startup in healthcare. In his free time he likes to cook feasts for his friends, DJ and even produce music. He is also a big fan of the outdoors, and is always up for a good walk. On Saturday mornings, you might find him at the farmers market, or cycling around Hackney.