Stop Commenting On Women's Bodies
As a woman growing up, I’ve rarely felt empowered in my own body. Its shape, its strength, its power, its intricacies. I have felt its weight, its fat, its rolls, its appearance to the eye of other’s. I’ve rarely felt ownership, pride and confidence in its beauty and everything it does to keep me alive.
Women are constantly subject to unwelcome and derogatory comments about our bodies – the world is obsessed with something they don’t own. ‘You look well’ alludes to ‘you’ve lost weight’. ‘Skinny minny’ is seen as a glorification. I don’t want to hear it. If I’ve put on weight, if I’ve lost weight, if I look tired, if my jeans make me look slim, I do not want to hear it. It doesn’t make me feel supported or give me a warm fuzzy feeling inside – it makes me feel like an object. The internet went crazy recently after Adele released a picture of herself on her 32nd birthday, which displayed her notable weight loss; it was described by many as a ‘glow-up’. Losing weight is most definitely not a glow-up or an indication of success - this attitude is toxic. Adele is first and foremost an incredible talent, a globally successful artist with a mind-blowing career and she is beautiful whatever weight she is. If she’s happy within herself then that’s all we should be taking note of.
This infatuation with women’s bodies spans across many other industries. Adidas released a campaign recently, fronted by Maya Jama. It was labelled as a body positive and aimed to make all women feel confident wearing their swimwear. Yet it disapprovingly failed to present its world-wide audience with a diverse range of bodies, models of all shapes and sizes and give visibility to those minorities whose bodies are oppressed in our society. Big corporates believe that sticking a ‘body positive’ label in front of a campaign will sell. They capitalise on it and exploit a movement which is not theirs to own. The body positive movement was intended for the bodies that do not conform to societal standards of beauty – it has become problematic because of campaigns such as this one which detract from the safe spaces of plus-size people who feel at home in their community.
Our bodies are not a fashion trend. The Kate Moss-esque ‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’ of the 90s has morphed into the Kim Kardashian big boobs, big ass, but a tiny waist and flat stomach; this is now the desired body type of my generation. These are examples of how society has latched on to a certain shape or size and ingrained within us that these are the only body types that are synonymous with beauty. Many girls alter their bodies to morph into society’s standards, to fit these trends and to feel happier in who they are. Eating disorders are the most prevalent mental illness in society and are most commonly found in young women. It’s time we normalise normal bodies, accept and celebrate all body types as they are.
Be sure to elevate and compliment your friends and your fellow women, let them know how amazing they are. Tell them they can do anything they want. Tell me I’m beautiful, so I know that I’m beautiful the way I am and beautiful because of who I am. People say that the key to success is being confident, in loving who you are and ‘wearing a smile’. But how can women be confident when we’re constantly torn down for undeserved and unwelcome reasons? When we’re judged for what we wear, who we sleep with, how we behave? When we live in a world where white men have rape and assault charges but somehow, for reasons I can’t bear to fathom, keep their power, wealth and control?
I will never forget when I was 16 years-old, in the gym and an old man came and sat next to me on the mat, expressing that I had put on a lot of weight. I was in shock and asked if he was joking - he said he wasn’t and appeared surprised by my question. I immediately left before he saw all of my self-confidence, which was at the time practically non-existent as a result of my eating disorder, shrivel away into dust. I was devastated, emotionally vulnerable and couldn’t figure out why on earth he felt the need to deliberately go out of his way to make an uninvited remark on my appearance. Comments like this can have devastating impacts on women and can result in deadly eating disorders and obsessions with appearance. The next time you open your mouth to remark on a woman’s body think of the potential repercussions.
To break this down further, why did I immediately interpret putting on weight an insult? I have been raised in a society which is intrinsically fatphobic and views any excess skin on our bodies as a BAD thing. As Lizzo says, it’s my body and what I put into it, and how I move it, is none of your business. Had it not been ingrained into my brain that skinny is beautiful, maybe I could’ve owned this and told him that I love my body the way it is.
So, to the men that comment on our bodies, catcall us, harass us in the street, honk the horn of your lorry, don’t. Our bodies are big, small, fat, thin, pear-shaped (whatever that means); we have big boobs and show them, we’re slags, we have small boobs, we’re masculine. Women should be unapologetic about our bodies because ultimately the sizes and consistencies are irrelevant – it is not yours to comment on. Our bodies are not sexual objects for your command or pleasure.
I’d like to be able to walk down the road and not worry about what people think of me. My outfit, my weight, if you think I’m pretty. I’d like to be able to go running without being shouted at by a group of men and wear a more revealing top without being objectified and being subject to the uninvited sexualisation of my body. I’d like to know that I’m valued and accepted because of who I am and not my weight. I want young girls to grow up celebrating their bodies and celebrating each other’s, because life is too short to feel like we’re not good enough.
There are so many inspirational icons on Instagram – here’s just a handful. Thank you to these women who unapologetically love their bodies and in turn make me love mine:
@stephanieyeboah
@lizzobeeating
@khal_essie
@gracefvictory
@simonemariposa
@chloeincurve
@mikzazon
@antonia.jade
Written by Molly Gorman
Hey! I'm Molly, a youth charity worker living in London. I'm passionate about mental health and wellbeing, particularly challenging stigmas surrounding eating disorders. In my spare time you can find me volunteering, travelling and writing about the issues I care about most.