Will We Ever Be Equal?
The 13th March 2014. A day of celebration for the hundreds of thousands of same sex couples who had been petitioning for marriage equality in the UK for decades. The events, parliamentary debates and the negotiations paved way for two people to marry and have the event recognised under matrimonial law, regardless of biological features. Suddenly, the phrase ‘Love is Love’ had a true meaning that could be witnessed in all areas of life, women could become wives, men could become husbands.
4850 marriages took place before the end of 2014, with partners booking their ceremonies within minutes of the midnight chimes. They were in a race to become one of the first couples to mark such a landmark ruling for LGBTQ+ rights.
Not only were people of all sexes able to marry in the eyes of the law, but from 10th December 2014, they were able to convert their civil partnerships into marriages. In the three weeks between this date and the end of the year, 2411 conversions took place.
With this remarkable win for same sex couples, the excitement of finally having their love seen as equal to opposite sex couples was celebrated on the streets, in the churches and in the privacy of their homes and families.
As time went on same sex marriage faced the same issues as opposite sex ones. There were some that did not work.
Where any couples could now marry, they were also now able to divorce. In 2019 there were 822 lesbian and gay divorces.
By way of more divorce petitions that were filed, it became apparent that one thing was missed out of the change. One small sentence placed within an act dating back to 1973, would prove that new laws and possibilities do not mean that the relationships were truly seen as equal and previous beliefs about LGBTQ+ people were still going strong.
The Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 clearly states that ‘your husband or wife must have had sexual intercourse with someone of the opposite sex’. This is due to the old belief that sexual intercourse is not possible between two people unless they are man and woman. In the eyes of the law, adultery is not feasible for two people of the same sex.
As I am sure you can imagine, same sex couples are unlikely (although it does happen at times) to have an affair with the opposite sex.
63% of divorces among lesbians and 70% among gay men therefore had no choice but to cite unreasonable behaviour as the motivating factor for the petition.
When comparing this to a marriage between a man and a woman, divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour was the second most cited reason, with adultery being the most common.
According to online divorce advice websites adultery can be placed under unreasonable behaviour, by stating that your spouse has had an inappropriate relationship with another person. This statement has allowed the inequality to go unheard and unchanged.
Another solicitor who specialises in divorces has stated that regardless of the couple’s make-up, the reasons for divorce have been equally matched with adultery being at the top of the list. Therefore, the most appropriate ground for the situation leading to divorce is swept under the carpet for LGBTQ+. In effect reducing the importance of the affair.
When the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 was introduced, sexual acts between same sex men were still imprisonable in some counties of the United Kingdom. Therefore, no thought was given to them being married or divorcing.
There are many religions and schools of thought that have lent themselves to the legal system within the UK over the years. By maintaining the law that states two people may marry, without accepting that sexual acts are a part of most marriages, it reinforces the view of many that it’s fine to be gay, if you don’t act on it sexually.
There has never been any legislation, or to my knowledge, with a direct reference to the religion of lesbians, as there is a widely held belief that intercourse cannot take place between women.
Despite it being six years since the introduction of same sex marriage, the matrimonial causes act has not been addressed to allow for either of these considerations. Maybe because it is easily ignored by signposting people to use unreasonable behaviour.
Recently a new Bill has been introduced to create a no-fault divorce as the government are open to the idea that some relationships just do not work. Rather than having to chose between the previous four causes, the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020 allows for either party to end the marriage on the grounds of an irretrievable breakdown. No evidence is required, and no blame is apportioned.
The reason for this change has been stated; to stop blame being the centre of the proceedings and to allow divorces to take place with as little harm to the relationship as possible. Therefore, benefitting all, especially the children involved. Throughout the research that I have conducted there has been no mention of the Act being put in place to support equality of divorce proceedings, to address how laws that are attached to new ones need to be updated at the same time or to acknowledge that to be equal in celebrating love, all points need to be equal, not just some.
Written by Janine S White
As someone who does not like to fit into expectations, I like to support society to be more accepting and understanding of differences. If I can make just one person more aware of the pain that can be caused by inequality and think first, then I have succeeded.