Talking to: Deadly Desires Kink Art

Emily Carrington-Ball is a London based artist specialising in shibari art, creating sensual art that explores sexuality and gender through the beauty of shibari bondage. . We talk to Emily about how she has amalgamated her love for shibari and the kink scene with her talent as a visual artist to create a niche career making and selling beautiful art work, both off the shelf and commissions, what exactly shibari is (and isn’t), setting up a business in lock down, and how the curious can discover more about shibari.

Emily Carrington-Ball, at home in Greenwich

Could you first of all just let us know a little bit about who you are, where you are, and what led you to creating the artwork you do?

I live in London, I grew up between Plymouth and Portsmouth. I always thrived in the arts in school, that was my big passion, and I wanted to get into costume design, so I went to university to study fashion and costume; two years in Plymouth and one in London. I then worked at a couple of theatres, did things like music videos and short films. I was also working at Waterstones book shop, as I wasn’t bringing in enough money. Then I had a big breakdown, and reevaluated everything in my life. I decided that actually horses made me really happy, so I retrained and became a horse riding instructor.

That was about six years ago. Unfortunately, three years ago I became ill with costochondritis (chronic inflammation of the sternum). I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia as well, and that was the end of being a horse riding instructor. It was my actual dream job, I loved it, going to work was just fun. That was a really, really bad time, but I fell back on my art again, and got creative, and it has kind of gone from there… I need to be doing something that brings me joy.

Can you tell us about shibari?

It comes from Japan originally. Back in the medieval era it was used by police to capture people quickly. It developed in Japan, in a similar way to how in the western world the fetish scene takes on lots of medieval torture devices; it became part of their fetish scene as well. In world war two when lots of Americans were in Japan, they took it back to the USA and brought it over to the UK as well as a kink interest.

By the 1990s and the growth of the internet, it became a big thing in the fetish scene. But it’s not necessarily sexual, although it can have a sexual element to it. The way I work with it is completely non sexual.

I am a rigger, so I tie people, and generally people who are being tied are known as rope bunnies. It is an intimacy that is very trust based. Bunnies say that it is a way that they can release control, and they can just zone out, and the rope on them almost feels like a big hug; it's a safety place for them. They don’t have to process anything, they can just lose themselves in a submissive space and just let go.

The rigger’s job is to let them get to that space and make them feel safe, give them lots of caressing. With rope, depending on how tight or loose it is, it tends to change the feel on the body. So if you are in a really tight bind and then you brush your fingers really gently over, it is a lot more heightened. It is all about the rope bunny and them being able to let go. It’s really pleasing for the rigger when their bunny can just relax.

So, as a rigger, you get pleasure from the bunny being relaxed, but what other elements bring the rigger pleasure?

It’s quite meditative, even though you are in complete control, and you have to stay in the moment and know what you are doing, you are able to just concentrate on that… the tying of the rope. Knowing that you are in control and they are willing to give that to you is an important part of it.

It sounds like what you are saying is that it became popular in the western world through porn, but it’s actually about more than that.

Absolutely. It is so much more than that. There are sexual elements to it, lots of people use it in that way, and they can involve other kinks into it, or they can use it completely non sexually, and just the act of binding itself is enough. The releasing of the bunny as well is an important part of it, as they are unbound. Coming out of the sub space is quite bewildering, so being there to support them and letting them come down from that space they have been in is really important.

How did you discover shibari?

I had worked as a dominatrix and it kind of came about from that. I have been going to fetish nights for most of my adult life now. It was always something I was a little bit scared about because it seems like quite a closed fetish group and if you don’t know how to do everything you can’t enter it. When I started getting involved with shibari I realised that was complete crap, and actually becoming part of the scene is actually really easy and it is really supportive, whether it is just to tie your partner up in the bedroom or whether it is to do a big show where you are tying a bunny at a convention. People are very welcoming on either end of the spectrum.

It was daunting at first, because it is technical, it looks quite technical, you kind of worry what is going to happen if you muck it up. But actually, basic ties are exactly that, they are really easy to learn. Then as you progress you can do really complicated stuff. But starting with the basics is really quite easy.

Do you have any tips for people who want to learn more or who want to get into it?

There is a great book called Showing You the Ropes by Two Knotty Boys. It is a great introduction, it shows you safety and all of the essentials before you start tying, and step by step diagrams about how to tie safely. That is where I started my journey. Also, Essence of Shibari by Shin Nawakiri. There are loads of books available, and also lots of Youtube videos; I recommend Twisted Monk and Shibari Study, they talk about it in a fun way. One of the courses I go to is at Anatomie Studio, they are brilliant for complete beginners.

Its quite a countrywide scene, lots of people will go to London. Bristol, Manchester and Birmingham, but there is stuff going on all over the country.

When did you decide to combine your interests in visual art and shibari?

Really only in the last year. I was creating a piece of artwork for one of my subs, of them tied, and it kind of went from there; I found it really enjoyable.

What sort of things were you drawing leading up to the shift to concentrating on kink and shibari in your artwork?

Portraits mainly, so it wasn’t a massive jump from drawing people to drawing people in rope. I much prefer doing my kink work now.

How has your work been received? Have you been exhibiting as well as doing commissions?

Not yet, no, I only properly started my business just before lock down. People forget how much the arts industry has been affected by covid - all of the arts and music venues, it kind of affects everything.

I hope that people who have drawn on the arts to get them through lock down still remember how important it is now we are coming out of the other side.

I think creativity has been recommended for mental health during lock down, to pick up an art hobby, whether it’s drawing or reading or crochet or baking. So I think maybe people have realised how cathartic and important it is to have art and design and in their lives and community.

Do you think setting up your business has helped you get through the anxiety of these times?

Well, I am agoraphobic anyway, I have got my studio set up at home, so it’s been quite normal for me. Lock down has been beneficial because more people are spending time on social media, which is how I interact with a lot of people. A lot of the rope artists that I draw, I have been able to connect a lot with them. Also, people are at home wanting to spend money, to have something to show for it. I have sold a lot of my work to America, there is a huge shibari scene in America.

I also sell greetings cards on my website, which is obviously a little wink to your kinky side, without having to display it in your house, so that’s been really popular.

It's going really well; I have been really pleased and really surprised. I have got talking to lots of people I wouldn’t have possibly had such good conversations with if it weren’t for the lock down. I have met lots of people online, and been really able to connect with people. Lots of classes have gone online, like at Anatomie studios. That has made it a lot easier for me because I don’t leave the house, so the resources have come to me. Everyone has had to adapt. It is really showing how technology can be used, so everyone, for example people with disabilities, can be involved with cultural stuff.

What is coming up next for Deadly Desires?

I am carrying on drawing obviously. Once things start opening up again there are lots of fetish fairs and events I will be employing someone to go to to exhibit and sell my work, whilst I continue to network at home. I think a lot of things will stay online, so it has really opened up a new venture for lots of places; I think that is really positive. Lots of fetishists are quite secretive about it, and it's been a way to meet people without having to be out there saying “yes, I am a kinkster”.

Do you feel that creating artwork based around shibari can help take away that secretive element, bring it more out into the open, making it more accepted?

Yes. I like making art which is sensual but not explicit. I don’t want it to be porn-like, I want to show it is an art form, and to show that fetishism isn’t necessarily scary; being tied up wearing latex, being whipped by people. That’s what I want to get across through my art, and that actually it is okay to display that side of you, whether it is just in your bedroom, and just having pictures on your wall to be a little titillating, or whether you feel more comfortable having art throughout your house, that you feel you can connect to, that shows that little part of your personality.

There’s so much in fetish that has nothing to do with sex. There’s lots of stuff that is coming into the mainstream, like latex. One of my friends, who is a latex designer designed a red carpet dress that is absolutely stunning, that someone wore to the Cannes Film Festival. I think that opens things up for people to explore the scene. It’s a really friendly community and people want to encourage each other to explore new things without there being any pressure.

What visual artists are you particularly inspired by?

I am really inspired by the shibari photographer Reirazure. I have always been inspired by Alexander McQueen and Vivienne Westwood, from my costume background. There’s quite a few kink artists that really inspire me., like Trevor Brown, Sardax, Eric Stanton and John Willie.

Find out more about Deadly Desires Kink Art here. You can follow Deadly Desires on Instagram and Facebook, and have a look at her Etsy shop here.