Handy Cap
First, a Haiku
Say Your Smile
We may be apart
But in this time uncertain
I send your smile.
I loved my cap when I was younger. It wasn't any old cap but a Chicago Bulls cap circa 1992-3. And I considered it to be a lucky cap. Though you have to understand that for a 17 year old young man of colour, living in pre-gentrified East London was not always a breeze. Judgemental looks and general avoidance in the street was the schedule of the day sometimes for somebody like me. It hasn't changed that much, but as we're in lockdown right now you don't see many people walking around anyway.
So this cap of The Chicago Bulls, a great basketball team, one of it's icons of the game let alone the team was, of course, Michael Jordan. An inspiration to many, including me. I wore this cap with pride. But I didn't play basketball. Did that matter? Not to me. This was a cap that I could go out in and it would protect me in it's own superfly bubble. And on one particular day the cap and I were down the local high street.
Standing in the queue of the cashpoint I've got my head down and cap pulled onto my head tightly, zoning out the world around me as you do. When it's my turn at the cashpoint I look up and see notes sticking out of the cashpoint, along with the words flashing on saying "Please take your money". I'm wearing my lucky cap and I wasn't expecting the luck to blatantly stare at me in the face and shout "HAVE IT!!" I was taken aback. And I took the money. Which wasn't mine to take.
The right thing to ...yeah, the RIGHT thing to do, was to hand this money in. But to who? I scan around and clock an elderly lady walking ahead of me and realise that she was in the queue before me. So I jog after her. Not too quickly, I didn't want to arouse suspicion even though I hadn't done anything wrong. To an observer watching this young black man running towards an unaware elderly white lady can raise concern and no explanation required. But that wasn't on my mind this time.
But as I approach her, she jumps. Doesn't scream luckily. I tell her that she, and I'm sure it was she, forgot to take her money out of the cashpoint. Once she comprehended what I've just told her she said "thank you" and carried on on her way. Did that just happen, I'm thinking? Other questions suddenly come forward in my mind. Did I do the right thing? Did she think I was going to mug her in broad daylight? Am I now a good samaritan? What would MJ do in a situation like this? That's Michael Jordan, not Jackson. He's Bad. Sorry, bad pun...
Literally 10 mins later I'm standing at the bus stop, close to the scene of the cashpoint. And I clock the same elderly lady across the road, looking at me and she starts to approach me. I don't remember her smiling at me as she comes towards me, but I'm sure I'm giving one of my awkward smiles about now, and wondering if something's gonna kick off. She says simply;
"I just wanted to say thank you again. I must have been daydreaming. That was very kind of you. Here you go." She presses a note into my hand and closes it. I quickly look down and see a £10 note in it. I stare at her, I try to protest. She ain't having it. And with that, she goes. And I'm speechless.
We're all in a strange place right now. We see a lot of spite, bile and basic nastiness in front of us on a screen of any size and away from them. I've been judged on appearance and I'm aware of it. But my memory of what I've said about that day I think of now and constantly. People are not all bad. There's bloom beneath the bile. Kindness is a superpower. And any cap can be a four leaf clover. Which can be lucky.
Written by Valentine Hanson
“Valentine Hanson is an actor, drama practitioner and storyteller based in London. He appeared in various theatre productions in London and around the UK and programmes such as Casualty and The Friday Night Project. His interests are poetry, spoken word poetry, books, cinema, football and current affairs.”