Memento Mori: The Value of Temporality
Last month, in a quiet and rainy day, I went to the shop to buy something for lunch. I didn’t have much to get so I quickly filled my basket with what I needed. The music inside my headphones guided my steps through the lanes. My slalom between the carts was getting better and better until I suddenly stopped my ride to carefully look at the different kinds of olive oil displayed. Those bottles took me momentarily back to the olive trees upon which, as a kid, I enjoyed climbing up to collect olives. A spontaneous smile adorned my face until I was brought back to reality.
I was queuing at the cashier when I started to look around me, not to fly away in some memories this time, but to observe how the world was doing.
People were running up and down, chatting aloud and buying stuff. Others, like a sweet elderly couple, were going through the shopping list comparing prices. Many were taking orders for Christmas, and the red sweater-wearing employees were striving devotedly to refill the empty shelves of capitalism.
But in that brief moment, while Vivaldi's ‘Four Seasons’ was playing in my headphones, blending together those spasmodic actions into a single overwhelming symphony, a modest but powerful thought touched my mind:
All this stuff won't last,
nor this moment, nor all of us.
And yet we're here, we're alive.
Walking together on the same path,
taking advantage of our time, likewise consumed by life.
And yet we're, we're alive.
I smiled again.
Because there are two things capable of levelling out any difference between us - Love and Death. These are probably the two most powerful forces that drive our actions (apart from money, of course!). Despite that, quite often, these two end up filling the background of our busy and competitive world. We take them for granted during our everyday life and we quickly became indifferent towards them, unless or until something unexpected happens.
Take Death, for example. Sounds scary, I know, but don't worry, you're not alone. After all "we're all gonna die!" let's face it. Accepting it leads us directly to the first consideration upon Death. Everything and everyone is subject to temporality. Generation and corruption are, in fact, the two extremes that outline the transience of existence. An eternal game between these two forces goes on since forever, from the smallest particle in our body to the biggest galaxy somewhere in the deep universe.
We all know how it works. A seed becomes a tree - and then a fruit or flower. It gives nutriment to something else, then it perishes, and another process starts. More nourishment, more life if you want, but still in the presence of Death. Human beings share the same nature of that seed. We are born, we grow giving to the world our fruits, or we take them for greedy satisfaction. Then we die, but we don't stop giving.
Whether it is perceived as a transformation or a tragedy or the beginning of a new journey, or sometimes even a liberation, the fact remains that Death is so mysterious and impenetrable that it's difficult to describe it adequately. Nevertheless, however, it serves to give value to things placing them under a different perspective. In the face of Death, in fact, we are all the same. She makes no differences, embracing and uniting everything and every one by allowing people of different kind, religion or status to be on the same level. Any objective or subjective barrier, any division or contrast, is reduced to mere accessories.
We differ from any fruit, animal or any living thing because we possess the extraordinary ability to understand and appreciate Death. Undeniably, we are afraid of it - that inescapable fear of not being anymore. But, "what does it mean to be alive without me?" Death asks kindly - and with traumatic arrogance. She shows us our finiteness, our mortality, as she also does our intrinsic beauty and uniqueness.
In ancient Rome, they use the Latin expression Memento Mori to remind people, mostly the ones holding power and glory, that they were still humans, i.e. to urge them to avoid pride and arrogance as everything is temporary. (Can you think of anyone in our time who needs this reminder?) On the flip side, though, the meditation around Death has the purpose of helping every human being to recognise the higher value of things. Not in spite of it but because of it.
If you don't know where to start looking at, here is a clue, start from your breath. Pay attention to the transforming process, you inhale taking in some air, and you're alive. Then you exhale losing a part of it, but you're still alive. Even if there is no actual death here, you witness the sine qua non condition of existence, the alternation of generation and corruption. We recognise this process, we understand that in some way we are this process, at least part of it because we only exist within it. Hence, we appreciate it. "But how? Why should I appreciate Death which is the end of my own life?" you will ask. Good question and I admit we might need a little help, so here is when Loves come in.
Made of the same universal nature of Death, Love can be sweet and reassuring, or severe and rigid. It also tends to unite, it solves conflicts and softens any souls. Yes, some are more obstinate than others, but in the end, it can inspire humankind to do noble acts and perpetuate daily ones. Love can reveal the beauty behind everything - yes, even behind Death.
To experience this, try to remember how you feel every time you look at the night sky. You feel small and yet cosy, you look amazed at that infinite ocean of stars, and everything else is gone.
For just a moment, all your fears, preoccupations, desires and feelings leave space for Love as it shows you the beauty of Death. Most of the objects we see in the sky tonight are different ones to the visions that inspired past poets and lovers. Those visions do not exist anymore. Due to the enormous distance that separates us from the stars, most of them are dead by the time their light cheers our eyes. Yet, there it is, a true beauty in death. Death gives us a fleeting world, and in turn we learn to love and cherish these passing moments.
When we stop to reflect, Love reveals to us that everything is mixed and interconnected; it is like a gentle breeze that caresses all that exists, a melody that resounds eternally in an everlasting present. Dragged by the sound of this symphony, Love and Death swing blessedly between each other. A perpetual dance which gives birth to the universe, immense and uniform, where Love and Death live together..
Together they remind us not only of our place in the universe but also how deep and meaningful their connection is. They tell us, unquestionably, that at the end of the day we are made of the same substance. We have intentionality, and we take actions all the way through life. We can dream, we create spectacular things, we modify the environment to meet our needs, or we destroy it without even concern. We fight against each other until we stop and start to work together. Ultimately, we love - and we die.
They both unite us, before any boundaries and cultures, before jealousy and conflict, before we even get to know each other, Love and Death is what makes us free. It is what makes us volatile. It is what makes us fleeting. It is what makes us perfect.
Written by Bruno Cafiso
I’m curious. I love travelling to discover different cultures, sharing food, passions and experiences. I focus on what’s important in life. Trying to live with less stuff and more meaning.