The Glad Game: A Tool For Survival In These Uncertain Times.
If you could see it...would you act differently?
If it was little lit up particles floating through the air,
the colour of chartreuse,
glowing like fireflies…
would you be more careful?
Fireflies in Japan. ©365March. Yu Hashimoto. See more here
It is particles, not green, but little and everywhere, and as yet nobody knows how long before we contract it and start showing symptoms. It’s pernicious, frightening, brand new. Most of us living today have never experienced anything like this. We are going in blind, we are staying in scared, and we are, for once, doing exactly what they tell us to do. At least, most of us are.
It’s difficult to keep that positivity pecker up but we must try and find ways.
Remember Pollyanna? I loved the film as a kid, always thought The Glad Game was a bit of a life saver. It’s certainly saving me now! You may have your own Pollyanna, you may never have heard of her, but there’s a little bit of her spirit in most of us I believe.
From the book by Eleanor H Porter written in 1913, Pollyanna is an eleven-year-old orphan sent to live with her rich, crabby Aunt Polly in Vermont. Pollyanna's attitude to life originates from "The Glad Game," which she learned from her father. In the game you must find something to be glad about in every situation, no matter how bleak. In Disney’s 1960 film with Hayley Mills, her aunts' staff complain about it being Sunday, they HATE Sundays. Pollyanna pipes up when asked to find the glad in that. “Because it’ll be six whole days before it’s Sunday again!” Pollyanna carried this philosophy with her around her Aunts rather gloomy town and with her sincerity and kindness made a great many friends and transformed it into a much happier place.
This simple game is a well used tool in many therapist's box of tricks, it’s an invaluable way of seeing the world differently. A shield against the daily grind. It’s the ultimate silver lining, I find it helpful to seek it out. I may not meditate, I can’t get into yoga, but I practice positivity every single day!
I’ve always been pretty good at staying in, I had a lot of practice in the early days of being a Mum. But I’m fighting the argument inside my head a lot. The old panic monkeys are starting to wake up, my thoughts are like fleas. The rebel in me wants to say heck to authority and do what I want to, but the reality is...this time...we must listen and do what they tell us. We can all go back to effing them and not doing what they tell us another time. I have to push myself to go out for those essential trips, it’s too easy to stay in, and when I DO go it’s all very different out there and the nerves rise up, the stomach bubbles, the brain wobbles, the old demons start to scratch at the door. I have in the past very easily given in to them, let them win the fight, not go out, not have fun, not see anyone, feel bad, get sad, usually cry and feel shit about that too. The tyranny of mental health versus the acceptance of staying at home.
In the meantime though, we’ve all been stuck indoors, some of us with gardens, thank god, some of us with nice neighbours, thank god, and some of us with cats, THANK GOD! What I’ve really noticed is the sheer volume of people doing good things, free things, cheerful things, helpful things. Morning assembly, keep fit, readings, music, art, performance, free apps and e-books, virtual pubs and meeting places for friends, support for each other even if we don’t know them. People making food parcels up to distribute. All the celebrities I follow on Twitter opening up a little bit and becoming more accessible. Those who need to access help and meetings can do it through video apps or phone calls, we can more easily get repeat prescriptions organised, get hold of extra financial help. Businesses are putting holidays or holds on some payments, but read the small print mortgage people. People dancing daily, dressing up, coming up with games we can all join in. Friends who share the lovely things they do for each other, neighbours making cakes or bread and splitting them with us, doing shopping for one another, soothing the anxiety with daily communication! This is like nothing we’ve ever seen before and we’re all working through it collectively.
I may be isolating, but I’m not isolated. We must allow ourselves to be shit, not pressured into being productive and busy. It’s not a competition! We’re scared, we don’t know what’s going to happen, though we have a good idea based on the countries ahead of us. We don’t have to learn new languages or crafts, we can just loaf about mildly panicking while watching films and boxsets, there are no rules as to how we stay at home, as long as we stay at home. We are CRAVING people and communication, so those Thursdays when we come out and clap for the NHS or carers (NEVER for Boris) are cherished, it’s the closest we get at the moment to a party! Just remember...you need to stay a very tall person lying down away from each other at all times! And continue to lobby the Government to provide what’s needed.
The pace of change has been extraordinary and most of us have adapted incredibly well and very fast. I just LOVE that the Tories are having to employ socialist policies to safeguard the country. I’m choosing to keep a small amount of news coming in so I can take care of my wonky noodle. We’re all going through something very strange, scary, weird, new and...I’m gonna say it...UNPRECEDENTED! Sorry, “unprecedented” is the new “journey”!
The arts will help get us through, there is SO much to access - museums, galleries and zoos doing virtual tours. Theatres offering a free streamed play each week. Fleabag for £4, I would never have got the chance to see this otherwise so I’m excited about diving in. Bands doing silly music projects. People putting on drag or chat shows from their homes. DJing for us. Chris Packham is bookending my days with morning Springwatch from his garden and #punkrockmidnight, which is a total joy. Events organisers fundraising to keep their artists in some pay, many of them can’t access the furlough or grants that are available. The positivity is keeping me going! I know it can be tough on SM, the endless news, doom and gloom, and oh, the idiocy, but I delete, block, silence those and find instead the ones who are making it better. I hope once the storm has passed everyone remembers just how important the arts are...I’m looking at you, yes you, the ones in the government with the big scissors!
There are also amazing things happening to help those on the front line. Medical dramas donating all their PPE to hospitals, a company who specialise in medical kinks giving up their scrubs and masks, clothing manufacturers making medical wear too. People sewing masks at home. Posh milliners and kids at home making faceguards. There are issues, but let’s not focus on those, gov’t gov’t, blah blah blah, we ALL know that story. Let’s just hope it all works out. I can mock, but I wouldn’t have a clue how to sort this mess out so I’m glad there are some advisors making some good decisions, they may fall very short for many but it’s something. REALLY working hard on the glad there! More to come I hope. Front line workers, essential staff, none of them are getting all the protective gear they need. There’s a LOT of people in my circles who are left out in the cold, self employed, small businesses, single enterprises, performers, artists, designers, events organisers, musicians, riggers...I worry for them, they don’t seem to be getting picked up...yet. But I have hope, I always have hope, my Mum and Harvey Milk taught me that.
Photography by Vonalina Cake
I live alone, I MISS CUDDLES! I really do. I would usually go out every weekend or three and the occasional school night and get loads of cuddles, top up my loving cup, it would keep me going for ages. I have amazing friends who give the best hugs. We’re a really tactile bunch! I can’t wait until we can touch again, assemble and hug and talk face to face, hand in hand. I miss my job at the haberdashery and the market the shop is in, the routine of it, the interaction with the lovely customers, the colourful ribbons and lovely wools that cheer me. I miss the people and the funny ways, the familiarity of it all. I am however taking advantage of this *holiday* and sorting the heck out of my place! My bedroom is clean and tidy, I’ve got a dedicated crafting space, jeez I’m one lucky basket! I’m getting 80% of my pay which might just see me through, and I’m awfully glad of that!
During a long bout of depression and with advice from a CBT counsellor I was tasked with finding three things in each day to be positive about, it was a good exercise and I soon found it came easy, almost natural to find the positives again. I often have to call on my inner Pollyanna, she can be elusive at times but she’s usually in there somewhere, lurking round the back of the bins of my brain. I know it can be a lot to ask sometimes, the situation is grave, very serious, scary. There are a great many very vulnerable people in society whose needs are not being adequately met. The list is very long. I worry for those at the very margins of society already, what will become of them? I just hope that there is help when it’s needed. But I am Pollyanna’ing the SHIT out of it! Spring has sprung, I have a roof over my head and food in the cupboards. I’m glad every day for my neighbours and friends. I’m also glad for my home, my pets, my job, my health!
©Jeremy Dunham, Head In Sand. Bodyvox at Sauvie Island. See more here
I’m a head in the sand kind of person when things get too big, and this IS too big. I am however aware of the seriousness, I don’t wish to make light, I just wish to feel lighter.
There is much to be glad about. More time to hang out with your quarantine family or friends, I know, that one is definitely double edged. More time to get things done at home. More ways to connect...this spring has been brought to you by Zoom! (Other platforms available). And if you’re lucky, it’s time to stop and listen to the rhythm of your life and check if it’s the one you actually want.
So hold on tight, we know it’s awful and we might have to wait until next year but we shall sing a song of springtime again!
©John William Waterhouse, A Song of Springtime, 1913. Private Collection.
Here are a few of the positive things we can do to keep ourselves amused, entertained, informed, educated and distracted. Donate if you can. Buy advance tickets, vouchers or book appointments. But don’t all crowd in at once when we get out. We really are all in this together!
https://artsandculture.google.com/partner?hl=en
https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-wig-in-a-box-keep-creating-community-events
References:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pollyanna
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pollyanna_(1960_film)
https://www.wikiart.org/en/john-william-waterhouse/a-song-of-springtime-1913
With gracious thanks to Jeremy Dunham and Yu Hashimoto for kind permission for the use of their beautiful photos.
Written by Vonalina Cake
“My name is Von, I’ve lived in Bristol since 1992 and I’ve lived a lot of lives since then.”