Rebecca Olayinka - Learning To Love Myself

I am learning how to love myself,

It’s not perfect, it’s not neat,

It’s messy, it’s uncharted,

I must remember to eat.

For when my appetite wanes,

For not only physical food

It becomes for me a slippery slope

I can forget that there is always HOPE.

I think that I might be getting stronger,

I try a little every day,

I am learning not to constantly criticise myself

I am learning how to praise.

I wrote “Possibilities” and the strength to keep on living,

I wrote about trauma and abuse

And the life I was once living.

I am learning how to love myself,

It is still a foreign language.

I am learning to keep going

I am learning how to unload the baggage.

Waking up is still a struggle,

What will be different today?

Will the same old stories perpetuate?

I am learning how to love myself.

I am still not quite there

I sit in the silence,

I look around and the room is bare.

No shadows or even the warmth of light,

I wonder if I could be granted the gift of foresight?

I am learning how to love myself,

Why can’t I still not ask for “Help”

I am still working on being “Brave”

I declared once before, that it was my new name.

I am learning how to love myself,

Just a little more every day

I am learning how to love myself

Because I am learning that LOVE truly is the essence of how we are all MADE.

Written by Rebecca Oluwaseyi

My name is Rebecca-Oluwaseyi and I live in London. I spent many years studying and working in Bristol where I attended UWE Bristol and completed my Social Work Degree. I am a qualified social worker and freelance writer and speaker. I am very passionate about Black Foster Children as I was a care experienced child. I have been very lucky to have my written work featured in 2x books that I have contributed to; Outlanders- Hidden Narratives from Social Workers of Colour & ChickenSoupForTheSoul-I’m Speaking Now: Black Women Share Their Truth in 101 Stories of Love, Courage and Hope.

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