12 Days of Christmas: An Attitude of Gratitude
“What you focus on expands and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it. Opportunities, relationships, even money flowed my way when I learned to be grateful, no matter what happened in my life.” Oprah Winfrey.
Nice words aren’t they? I am sure if I was Oprah I would also find it easy to find a plethora of things to be grateful for, although I appreciate that Oprah fought hard to carve out the abundant life that she has now. However… is it still that simple to have an attitude of gratitude in these uncertain times? That is what I was wondering when Jess asked me if I would do a piece on gratitude. I hesitated just for a moment, after reading the email that I was sent… recalling all the events that had happened this year, and then thought ok…… challenge accepted!
Robert Emmons- the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude, wrote an article for The Greater Good Science Magazine in 2013 on “How Gratitude Can help you in hard times”. Emmons proposes that gratitude can help us to cope in a crisis. He writes; “Consciously cultivating an attitude of gratitude builds up a sort of psychological immune system that can cushion us when we fall. There is scientific evidence that grateful people are more resilient to stress, whether minor everyday hassles or major personal upheavals”.
I have previously read about the effects of gratitude as I must admit it is something that I have at times really struggled with. I have even started using the book “The Magic” by Rhona Byrne – (the author who wrote “The Secret” ) who suggests that Gratitude is a universal law that governs your whole life. Her book takes you through 28 days of magical practices to rewire your brain to implement gratitude into your everyday life as an ongoing habitual practice. So I am intrigued to find out more.
Since saying yes to the article, I thought that it would be helpful not only to state what my own experiences of gratitude are but also that of my work colleagues so I asked them to contribute as a team effort. I am grateful that they were up to the challenge too! Here are their gratitude notes;
Martha:
Cocktails with friends on zoom – this was our way of doing a wake for a school friend who passed away too early this year; very sad but so lovely to reconnect.
Fresh air – I don’t often want to go out but I always feel better for doing so; I always try to go out once a day even if it’s very rainy!
Watching the Mandalorian with my two boys and my husband on Friday nights – Baby Yoda is the cutest ever!
Sam:
I am grateful for the 26 years I have been with my partner - the longevity and routine gives me comfort.
I am grateful that Covid has bought me closer to my team in safeguarding- I feel a shared sense of responsibility, fear, and increased respect for one another. The feeling we are in it together gives me comfort.
I am grateful for the prayers Emily sends me when I need them - her faith is a valuable gift I treasure even though I do not have belief myself.
Louisa:
I am grateful I am not challenged by the social inequalities we see every day in our work.
I am grateful to work with an extraordinary team of staff who strive to make a positive difference to the lives of people we work day in and day out, whether in the midst of a pandemic or a non-eventful Monday morning.
I am grateful for all of the relatively small pleasures in life that I am able to take for granted because of the country I was born into.
Deborah:
I am grateful that I have a family I am close to.
I am grateful that we were able to get away together before lockdown.
I am grateful I am able to walk, run, and exercise how I like.
Adi:
As a practicing Muslim, I am grateful every day for being alive and having good health. I am grateful for my children because they keep me going and thankful for their love and kindness towards me.
I am grateful for the goodness and mercies Almighty God has shown me throughout the good and bad times.
I am grateful that I believe in the oneness of God. In short, I am grateful for everything each day because I don’t wait for something to be bad before I am thankful.
You may be wondering what I am grateful for this year? I realise that I have a lot to be grateful for.
Family and friends- I have four sisters – 1 through blood; 1 through marriage and two who have been adopted. Their continued support and encouragement mean so much and I am always grateful for this.
Finding The Everyday Community and having the opportunity to write various articles and poetry for the magazine. Their continued encouragement and belief in my writing is something I am so grateful for.
Being on the radio at least 3x this year and other media opportunities with blog writing and Youtube with another opportunity coming soon.
Having my essay selected by the British Association of Social Workers to go into their published anthology book.
My work team- they continue to show up every day and work hard, despite the challenging circumstances there is a good teamwork ethos.
Having the courage to leave a long term relationship this year that was no longer working.
Forgiving my father for not being present in my life, we had a conversation 3 months before he died last year after not speaking for years! I will always be eternally grateful for this.
Finally, I am grateful to you, the reader for reading this piece. I wonder will you/do you use gratitude every day? I wonder if you could share with us, how this has helped you this year?
If you feel challenged, remember what Albus Dumbledore says:
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light”
Xoxo
Written by Rebecca Olayinka
Rebecca is from London and has lived in Bristol for 14 years. Rebecca attended UWE and now works as Senior Practitioner (Social Worker) in Bristol. Rebecca loves poetry and is currently working on her first manuscript.