12 Day of Christmas: I’m Grateful for My Faith
What am I grateful for this year? This year is particularly unique as it has provided everyone with the opportunity to slow down and appreciate truly what, and who, they are grateful for. And if you haven’t done that yet, then there is no time like the present. I’ll start us off.
I’m grateful for my home, for my family, my friends, my partner, my food. I’m thankful for the time to slow down and appreciate all that I have. I’m a farmer, so I’m grateful that the harvest came in alright, and that we managed to plant all of next years crops before it started raining (those were big things for the farming community this year!).
Another thing that I am incredibly grateful for this year is my faith. I am a Christian, and I believe that God loves us, that Jesus died for us and that we can be forgiven, no matter what we have done. I believe that we can talk to God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit and that they listen. I know this probably sounds crazy to a lot of people, but it is what I believe, and this year, above all years, I am incredibly grateful that I do.
When lockdown started last time, like many people, I went back to mum and dads. (To be honest, I had just got back from travelling and planned to go there anyway, but the point is, I was there). Mum, myself, and our lodger Julie were stopped from going to our regular Sunday church services, so we had to improvise. Church, like everything else, moved online. And every Sunday morning, we would be found in front of the TV, watching the recorded church services on YouTube. We spent time together, we shared in communion together, we prayed together. And it was so lovely. It gave us each a little bit of a break to relax, to refocus on what was important to us. It really grounded the week as well, giving us a definitive Sunday, stopping all of the days from merging into one.
Every other day though I found that my faith gave me a certain amount of reassurance. In this time of upheaval, there is so much chaos and uncertainty, but I have been able to stand firm in my faith in God, and trust that something better will come. This won’t be the end. Praying helped. I found it would help to cheer me up – when I was feeling grumpy about something, praying and taking my focus off my own situation would allow me to see the good in the world again. And if I was feeling lonely, then I could focus my eyes on God and walk through life with him.
On top of this, I had my church friends. We were able to help each other through the lockdown as we were able to pray for each other and support each other.
I also found that reading the Bible really helped. When I read the Bible I like to read the stories; the ones that everyone knows (like Joseph, or Moses), and the ones that Jesus tells (stories inside stories, kind of like inception but a whole lot less confusing). In particular, I love the stories about shepherds, because that is what I can relate to (funnily enough).
There is definitely something in the Bible for every mood. There is romance (The book of Ruth), there are wars, battles, kings and beggars (Most of the Old Testament), and there is magical, wonderful Jesus (The New Testament. I would particularly recommend the book of Luke). And this is all wrapped up in everyday life.
As a friend recently said ‘you can always read the Bible, you can always pray. If nothing else, it gives you something to do while you’re at home all day’. I found that to be true - the Bible is a good read.
For me, my faith is quite personal. It’s very much a relationship between God and me, and it’s not something that I shout about too often (so writing this article is a little nerve-wracking). But I find that my faith gives me the strength and guidance to be able to love and care for people to the best of my ability.
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t do that perfectly. Anyone who knows me will be able to tell you stories of when I have messed up. But, I try. And that’s the point of faith – we don’t have to be perfect all the time, we are only human, we will mess up, but God will forgive us and we can move on.
In the new lockdown, I have found my faith more important than ever. My situation is different this time, I am no longer living at home with mum and dad. I am living with my partner and our friend, in a small house in the middle of Bristol. It’s a good situation, but it can still be challenging, mainly because this time I don’t have a job. There isn’t much to do at the farm over winter, so I am looking for something else to occupy my time. But I am struggling. It’s the first time in my adult life that I don’t have a job, and I have found that fact has really knocked my confidence.
I have also found, however, that in these times I am particularly reliant on my faith because my validation, my worth, can’t come from a job. I don’t want to rely on other people to validate me, so I put my worth in God because, for me, he is a never-changing constant who loves me.
This year, this Christmas, times will be hard. I missed my last family Christmas as I was away, and I may well have to miss this family Christmas too. I don’t know yet. But I do know that I will have a great day no matter what because if I base this festive season on faith, on celebrating Jesus’ life, I will be able to do that no matter who is around or where I am. So maybe I am clinging to my faith. But that’s okay, and I am just so grateful that I have a faith to cling too.
Written by Maddie Pow
Maddie lives and works on her family farm on the outskirts of Bath. In her spare time she does a bit more farming, and a bit more. But she equally enjoys spending her evenings sitting by the telly with a glass of wine doing some knitting. Or perhaps baking some sourdough. If you want to know more about British farming you can follow her Instagram @livinginwellies