12 Days of Christmas: What A Time To Be Alive
So here we are. The back end of 2020. What a time to be alive! There’s nothing like a global pandemic to make the world pull together by keeping us apart. Two metres apart to be exact. But I jest. The year that is 2020 has been one heck of a year and memorable for many wrong reasons, but many right reasons for me.
I'm not going to dwell on the bad stuff. We don't need reminding what has happened. We're all living it, but in amongst the pile of steaming horse manure, there have been some gold nuggets – if you move too fast you may have missed it twinkling in the sun. And that's what I am grateful for—the ability to slow down, to just stop and take a collective breath.
This time last year, my mental health had taken such a dip that my GP agreed to sign me off as I sat sobbing in his room. My back was hurting, my stomach was hurting and I was retreating so far back into my shell that when I spoke, my thoughts echoed through the dark cave of my mind and had lost its power by the time it squeaked through my larynx and out of my mouth. Anxiety quickly seeped through the cracks and I spent most of my days in a state of panic.
By the time Covid 19 came around in early 2020, I was starting to put myself together. It was, of course, the hottest of all topics and by the time the lockdown was announced, I was desperately trying not to have another meltdown. Safely locked away in my house and now on furlough, my anxiety started to subside. The long walks in the sun, baking cinnamon buns and gardening kept me busy. I started a diary, had another go at meditation and started running with Couch25K. I even started the Science of Well-Being online course run by Yale University. It was free and gave me something to do. The pressure of appearing together and fine was off. The world was in turmoil, it was actually okay to not be okay and we all shared collective anxiety. To top things off, the UK ran out of yeast and I was unable to keep perfecting my cinnamon buns.
I was back at work for one month before I was told I had been made redundant. Covid had finally taken its toll on the travel company I worked for. I ignored the news, the rising level of unemployment and I stayed in my house and stuck on a podcast.
It was on this Yale course that talked about the power of gratitude. As Professor Laurie Santos, who developed this course, said: “...the simple act of experiencing gratitude has a host of positive benefits. Experiencing gratitude can increase your mood and lower your stress levels. It can even strengthen your immune system and lower your blood pressure. Experiencing gratitude can also make you feel a stronger social connection, which itself brings a whole range of positive benefits.”
Very compelling stuff.
On meditation, she said: “Through the process of meditation, we can curb our mind wandering. We can just be in the present moment. Meditation also has a host of other positive benefits. It can increase our mood, and it can do so in just a couple of weeks. It also decreases our stress, and it can even boost our grey matter.”
Every day, I started to write three things I was grateful for in my diary. The rule was that I wasn’t allowed to repeat myself. They had to be three new things every day. Meditation helped me stay in the present and it's been training my mind to let thoughts go. Anxiety is very good at keeping you in the past and pushing you forward into the future, but it’s terrible at making you stop and appreciate what you have.
This year has been full of so many losses and I know that I am one of the lucky ones. I am grateful for the things that have happened to me this year, for the people I know, and especially to my family. Love has kept me going through the darkest of times. This year has been such a turning point for lots of people, and even though it’s grim, I’ve never been happier. I know for many this is not the case so, in the spirit of Christmas, I want to give you this gift: hope. There is always hope for a better day, a better tomorrow, a better future. To those who may not feel it right now, just take it easy and take it slow. In time, things will get better.
If you are struggling with your mental health, take a look at these resources:
Campaign Against Living Miserably https://www.thecalmzone.net/
Samaritans https://www.samaritans.org/
NHS https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/
Written by Sarah Rajabalee
Sarah used to work in the travel industry, but Covid decided it wasn't to be. She is studying to be a counsellor and spends a lot of her time writing assignments. She is also a photographer and you can find her on Instagram @SarahRajabalee.