“Anxieties and Ambitions”: Bidding Farewell to The Everyday Magazine, From The Writers
Every farewell feels like a hard one and this one is no different. We are a collective of writers scattered across the globe, the world wide web bringing us together under the wing of an online magazine nestled in a small space in Bristol, the brilliant brainchild of a kind, talented and inspired entrepreneurial woman and her team of talented volunteers. Jess Blackwell, our chief editor built a small empire from the four walls of her bedroom, and is leaving a large legacy behind her which she should be proud of; The Everyday Magazine, a platform for the voices of the everyday people.
Writing for The Everyday Magazine has been a life-saving experience for me. Though I have not been in mortal danger, a lifeboat can come in all shapes and sizes in life while we drown in the volatile waves of pain and anguish that life can throw at us. Feeling grounded has been exactly what I and many other writers have been craving and this is my story, alongside a plethora of heartfelt ‘thank you’ notes to be framed, forever etched in our hearts and minds, reminding us all that sometimes the love of one gentle human-being can make the world a better place for us all. This is dedicated to her, Jess, and her wonderful team.
When the pandemic hit in early 2020, I never thought I would be one of the people that welcomed it. Don’t get me wrong, I hated the stress of the fear that came with an invisible killer threatening lives, putting unprecedented pressure on our precious NHS resources, reducing all households to radical life-changes, stripping at the door from head to toe, showering 5 times a day, frantically spraying shed-loads of antiseptic on every package and shopping load entering the front door, locking doors and losing the loving embrace of our loved ones. For me however, the lockdown was my saving grace, a time of self-reflection, an opportunity to savor the silence and strive for better!
Saving Grace
After 3 years working in a pensions firm, I started suffering severe stress related symptoms, from losing bunches of my hair, experiencing anxiety attacks for which I started medicating, being triggered into bouts of panic every time I entered the doors of the building or being in contact with certain familiar unfavourable faces in the office, even sitting alone sobbing before getting on with my day to release the pain I felt from being submerged into a toxic work environment. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when my husband nearly died in my arms, my head was pounding and one morning his office called me to wish me well and promise me their utmost support to get through it all as he was tied up with twenty tubes hanging from his fragile body in intensive care, while my colleagues were seemingly emotionally detached from what was going on in my life with their carefully curated comments and knee-jerk gestures.
It was abundantly clear I would not be presented with development opportunities in my career nor would I receive the work-life support I craved. It took something this serious for me to say enough. And in August 2020, while sitting in the four walls of my home, I submitted my resignation.
Self Reflection
The first step I took with my new found freedom was to self-care. I bought shampoo for hair regrowth, I bought essential oils, and I took much needed rest to recuperate. I sat one day after a long hot shower, wet hair dripping to the side, and took the Ikigai Test online. It sounds silly, but this was the tiny trigger that pivoted my life leading to a knock-on domino effect of drastic changes. It said I should ‘be an artist or work in entertainment’.
Ever since I was a child I loved writing stories. My English teachers inspired me so I felt in my ultimate element when writing. Suddenly, it all became clear as crystal, I forgot how to be a child, to live fearlessly, to love myself and to love life. I became a tiny fraction of myself, allowing a toxic job to dictate what I should be, I let my family who feared for my future to make me believe ‘this is as good as it gets, we need to put our heads down and get on with it’, I let my female dominance and determination wither away to oblivion.
Savour the Silence
Working from home during the lockdown allowed me the pleasure to avoid the packed rush-hour London tube, with four rows of people behind me shoving me into the opening doors, clamouring on to stand face to armpit in a soldering carriage, only to change at Bank and get jostled again by busy-beaver bankers sneering aggressively as I am out of breath and too exhausted to deal with the noise and hustle-bustle of the London commute.
Meanwhile, I was also able to avoid the dreaded, dire, destructive and soul-destroying daily interactions with colleagues that sucked the living daylight out of me.
The wonderful thing about spaces devoid of noise, just like a crazy commute to work or an office filled with toxicity, is that I have found the time within the safety of my home to recalibrate, to listen to my own voice and to appreciate that silence that led me to this day. And it’s in this silence I was able to find myself, do research about my career, and look for my next steps towards a change in my career path.
Striving for Better
I knew I was in for a rollercoaster ride starting my career from ground zero and I had a plan; to write for my career, in any capacity possible, and never accept anything less in life or fall into the career trap of my yester-years.
For too long I worked in operations and administration, jobs that didn’t give me joy, I took any job – spending many years just temping – in order to earn a living or feel like I wasn’t a ‘useless disabled woman’. I tried working in industries like banking and finance which in hindsight searched for every loophole in the rule-book not to employ me with my disability – you only need to read about the shambles of the now abolished two-ticks scheme – industries which dealt with boring financial facts, money-making schemes and mind-boggling endless report-writing filled with pretentious banking jargon.
Over time boredom has killed my soul and I have slithered through life numbed to the core because I was limited by society’s beliefs that with my disability I wasn’t capable of adding value to an organisation, and so when I did secure a job – any job no matter how much I would not enjoy it! - I lived in eternal ‘gratitude’ to the ‘hand that feeds’ even if that hand would take a hammer to my head every day of my life.
I am an engaging, approachable, human-orientated people person and an ideas-generating machine with a creative flair. The Ikigai Test pointed me to the right direction in relieving that boredom and finding my dream career path; my writing is my art.
Allyship
In June 2020, I was at the height of suffering with anxiety, my confidence at an all-time low, soldiering on just a few weeks short of escaping from my toxic job after my husband recovered recommencing his job thus putting us back in a financial stable situation for me to finally cut the cord. I dipped my toe into the first steps of my future, playing with the idea of my freedom, just gazing at the surface, thinking of the tantilising prospect that I could break the shackles tying me to an eternally unhappy career path.
I timidly researched my options, googling hesitantly on the topics of ‘writing as a career’ and ‘what is a content writer’, with the uneasy belief that I could not be a writer without writing experience that tightened my heartstrings making my weary heart sink. And suddenly I came across The Everyday Magazine.
Jess realised that all too often people want to write ‘but it’s too easy to lose motivation if you have nowhere to share it. That’s where The Everyday comes in... We give you a platform and you keep on creating.’
I had thought of submitting work to magazines and newspapers but after sifting through an overwhelming amount of submission criteria that had very detailed requirements I was ready to give up writing. The exhaustion and overwhelm of feeling I had to fit into someone else’s narrative, and the judgmental criticism that would come with my writing as well as the unfathomable constant rejections of my work just made me want to hide and run away – which was certainly not useful in the fragile and anxious state I was in.
The Everyday Magazine says ‘You may not be in a creative job, and maybe you don’t even want to be, but there’s still that part of you that adores to create and it’s been missing from your life. And, what’s more, you miss that person you used to be when you created...’
I knew from the first moment I read this that with Jess I would have the freedom to write what my heart desired and minus the judgement. I was able to thrive on my own terms. ‘So this is the sign you’ve been looking for. This is the reason you need to start creating again’, she says. And my life hasn’t been the same since!
The Everyday Magazine has been my safe haven, a community of writers and a tribe of like-minded creative beings. I identify myself as a disabled ambitious Cypriot woman with a love for writing, and as Jess put’s it, ‘We are for the Mums, the Dads, the workers, the students, the Carers - we are for Everyday People who just love to write. We are for the people who refuse to let their creative passions fade’. I have found my home, I have found my band of allies.
My Creative Journey
Since June 2020, my opinion pieces have been published monthly in The Everyday Magazine, covering topics mostly on my passion about disability and diversity, as well as topics like the pandemic, gaming, hobbies, valentine’s day and other sorts.
The Everyday Magazine holds a portfolio of my writing and this has led me to prove my writing abilities, helping me secure several volunteering roles which have been crucial for me to gain experience and step up into my career change. For example, I presented my first article titled ‘Now You See Me’ to The Children’s Trust helping me secure a content role writing blog posts and news pieces for families of children with acquired brain injury. That same article inspired invisible disability advocate and influencer ‘Talks By Megan’ to connect with me and for a while I became her access administrator for her social media channel. I supported Enhance the UK charity as a Trustee preparing social media posts that were disability accessible too. My digital content experience (social media updates, blog posts, online news articles) led me down the publishing route, when I touched on volunteering as a press officer in Happy London Press, an amazing independent publisher representing thriller writers. Finally this led me on to Feburary 2022, when I secured my first paid internship as a Literary Agent (Book) Intern for YMU Books, a time of my life which has been hands down the most astounding, unfathomable and wonderous experience.
I got that dream job with YMU Books due to the continued support of The Everyday Magazine; it gave me a platform to speak my authentic voice about disability and feeling invisible in the workplace, it gave me a space to gather a portfolio of my work and to enhance my writing skills and best of all to feel I am part of a community of writers, allies and support network. When I found Radical Recruit, a specialist agency which is dedicated to supporting people sidelined in society into paid employment, they had ‘the hard conversations’ with companies, tirelessly approaching big firms, like YMU Group, Warner Media and Sage and creating lasting relationships in the effort to break down barriers and open doors. The team seek out volunteers from management level to regularly commit to biweekly interview workshops to help us smash our interviews – and that I did with YMU Books. I built a tribe of people around me to support my success, and the final piece of the puzzle that keeps me going is my coach Caroline Dove, from Even Break, the disability charity. She has helped me keep grounded, focus my confidence and used her kindness and supportive nature to keep make me feel I am not alone.
I am currently volunteering as content writer for Ignite Hubs, a charity supporting under-represented children into learning coding and entering STEM careers, and as engagement assistant at Camden Arts Centre, a contemporary art gallery which is close to my heart and feeds my creative soul. I have also secured an PR and Communications Apprenticeship in the Government Communications Service working within the National Crime Agency which I am excited to explore.
Meanwhile, I have gained further allies, one of which is Amanda Harris, my mentor and a tireless disability advocate for the publishing industry and Cat Mitchell, lecturer of Derby University who wrote the first Access Report in Publishing, whom I had the great pleasure to meet on her panel ‘Disability in Publishing’ at London Book Fair 2022, and Molly Flatt from The Bookseller trade magazine in publishing who graciously published my piece titled ‘Anxieties and Ambitions’ talking about my experience as a disabled intern in the publishing world.
I am excited to release my podcast later this year called ‘Now You See Us’ – my first ever article I wrote for The Everyday Magazine was titled ‘Now You See Me’ alongside a poem dedicated to this piece and has thrown me head first into writing passionately about being invisible as a disabled person and finally being seen – with the aim of elevating the voices of those invisible in society either due to disability or other aspects. I am an advocate for disability in publishing and wish to work with allies as a driving force to open up the publishing world to disabled people! And all this, because the universe brought me to The Everyday Magazine.
A diary of thank you notes
“Dear Jess and the wonderful Everyday Magazine Team,
A BIG HUGE LIMITLESS THANK YOU for everything.
For being tireless with your efforts to give writers a safe space to write without criteria, limits and stress. For giving your time to us graciously.
For sticking to your ethics and being "writer first" offering your love with abundance. For giving us 2 continuous years of unwavering support where we could submit our work in an organised manner reducing our procrastination tendencies.
Giving us a space where we keep a portfolio of our work that is "proven" as a legitimate platform by Google and businesses wanting to read proof of our work (this is important and not easy for a writer to achieve alone!).
For opening doors to people side-lined in society like myself to get into work they would never imagine because I developed my writing skills (I'm working in YMU books, my dream internship and it's because you helped me).
You deserve more than a thank you, you deserve funding, you deserve to receive accreditation, you deserve to be on national media, you deserve to have limitless support, you deserve a dragon investing in your efforts, you deserve to be crowdfunded, you deserve government backing... Or all of the above!
I wish you luck and keep my fingers crossed (selfishly) that you will come back. Meantime I want to wish you good health, rest well, take care of yourselves and busk in our love and adoration.
Will be thinking of you everyday… I want to write something you can look at and remember forever, to commemorate everything you have done and give it to you to treasure. Because our gratitude to you needs to be given in a box with a big fat bow! We love you.
Lots of love, Maria Nicolette”
“There are no words for how grateful I am for having The Everyday Magazine in my life. Without you I would not be here today, I would not have become a book intern, I would not have met influential people in publishing, and I would not be planning my podcast ‘Now You See Us’ speaking about being invisible in society with a disability or other backgrounds, or become published in The Bookseller on disability in publishing - so thank you for bringing me back to life and driving my purpose in life.” - Maria Alexandrou
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“I lost all of my work during this time of the pandemic, and I was feeling quite down, left behind in a way, and hung about. A lot. What I occasionally do when hanging about is write. Short poems, spoken word pieces. And I decide to write about something I know a lot about...me. At 17 years of age. And my Chicago Bulls baseball cap. Hence the title Handy Cap, my very short story for The Everyday Magazine.
I wanted to express...something! Sometimes I write things that pop into my head for the eyes of no one else. Other times I post bad puns, jokes and silly haikus on social media. I thought that I would post something like this and share with others because I thought at least someone might read it and maybe like it. I’ve written a couple of varied things since and before this piece, and may share them. One day.
The magazine has been a flickering little light in the dark for me. I haven’t read and caught up with it as regularly as I first did when it arrived on “the scene” but I enjoyed reading the articles and pieces of people I’ve never met and relate to in some way.
I’ll miss it because it perked me up. I’ll miss it because I know how much it meant to people. I’ll miss it. But hopefully this everyday will be back in some way or other. One day.
Thank you for being a little yet sturdy boat in the choppy sea during lockdown and promoting my short piece Handy Cap and supporting other creatives and other no doubt good eggs from all around. ” – Valentine Hanson
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“You've done an amazing thing and it's given me a real lifeline during lockdown as well as improved writing skills and confidence. THANK YOU!” – Vonalina Cake, Bristol
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“Thanks for publishing a few of my pieces, it gave me a much needed confidence boost” – Danny Walsh, London
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“Thank you for everything you've done with the mag!
It was such a great platform for those of us that needed a creative outlet in the last 2 years and you guys were always fab to work with.
Thanks for the opportunities to write for you - it gave me confidence to continue my own writing business when times were hard and I loved the inclusivity of the mag.
You're amazing and wishing you all success with your freelancing/careers/lives.” – Nikki Trailor, London
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“So glad to have been a part of this as short as my time was, good luck with everything, thank you and the team for it all, super thankful that you all got me writing again, so grateful!! You’re an absolute force, here’s to the future!” - Di'mond Qai Sharma-Joseph, London
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“There is no outlet out there for writing enthusiasts and it’s such a shame that this ride is coming to an end. However, I totally understand … how hard you’ve worked to provide such a fun and professional platform for us to be a part of. Hopefully this isn’t the end forever, but even if it is - thanks for the opportunities you gave us! I really appreciate it!” – Katie McFaul, Bristol
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“I will be forever grateful to you for The Everyday. It finally gave me validation that yes, I can write! Also, I have learned such an incredible amount from all the subjects that have been covered by all the amazing contributors. THANK YOU, Jess and team. It’s been brilliant.” – Sarah Jane, Cornwall
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“Writing for the mag has been life changing for us both in that we both found a platform where we could write as ourselves and about things close to our hearts. When I discovered The Everyday I knew I'd found a piece solid gold.
Chris said the same when he started writing for you last year…The Everyday is unique and special and we'll always be grateful for the opportunity to write for you, - Amy Watson and Chris Hughes, Hamburg
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“I just want to say a more public THANK YOU to everyone here.
You don't often see kind journalism in mainstream (social) media, and everyone here has contributed to that ideal just by allowing that space for each voice to learn from each other. It shows the power of community, too - I'm here because of Jennifer Meadows for example - and even though I've met almost none of you in person, the atmosphere of support and encouragement is lovely.
It was a real boost in lockdown, especially. I've re-learnt about people, and learnt a lot for my ongoing writing career.” – Eleanor Anne Colquitt, Cumbria
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“I started writing for the magazine this April, after a major relocation. I was over the moon when I received an email from Jess, saying she loved my piece and that it would be uploaded. I am so thankful to Jess and Kerry and all those wonderful people who are the backbone of this amazing magazine community. Thank you to you all for keeping the magazine going for so long. Good byes are always a sad part, I say good bye in the hope that the magazine will be back to offer all those amazing writers a platform to express themselves. I am grateful that I was given the chance to be part of such an openminded magazine. I will surely miss writing for you, all the best for the future.” - Mariam Muskan
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“I started writing for the mag when I was fed up with my degree, and desperately searching for other avenues. When I first wrote for the magazine, I remember I told Jess that her email telling me that my piece had been uploaded and that she thought it was great, had really cheered me up on an awful day. Since then, I’ve continued to write for the mag, and last year I was lucky enough to be offered a position as a proofreader, and then as a literature editor! I’ve really enjoyed editing in the literature section, I’ve read some fab pieces, interviewed authors I could only dream of speaking to, and most importantly, worked with the best team ever. I actually look forward to our zoom meetings where Kerry’s audio is always awful, my camera freezes, Jess’ zoom meeting ends, and the many other shenanigans going on. But they’re the best bunch of people I’ve ever worked with, and I’ll miss them all a lot. Kerry - you’ve been an absolute life saver at times, and I am always in awe of your ability to be a real life super mum! Jess - thank you for giving me a chance, and bringing forth genuinely life changing opportunities to me. What started off as an opportunity to gain experience and explore the journalism field, turned out to be one of the best things I ever came across. I’m glad I was a part of such an amazing magazine, I’ll never forget my time here, and will cherish it forever.” - Halimah Begum
Written by Maria Nicolette
Hello! I’m Maria Nicolette, a writer and contributor to The Everyday Magazine.
I’m an ambitious disabled woman and fan of all things Geekdom. I write about my passions in an authentic voice and absolutely abhor toxic positivity, while I drown myself in fantasy and sci-fi imagination through books and story-writing. My topics of interest are:
• Diversity: disability and female empowerment,
• Wellbeing: mental health, gardening, hobbies
• Art and culture: across the board!
• Luxury lifestyle: fashion, travel, beauty
• Entertainment: movies, music, gaming.
• And my favourite: Geekdom!
I volunteer as a Creative Content Writer, offering my copywriting, editing, public engagement, social media, communications and PR skills. I have volunteered my time for charities including The Children’s Trust, Ignite Hubs, and Enhance the UK.
My love for art and culture has led me to spend my time on interesting projects like Sci-Fi London as I am insane about film and have worked as an extra in Mission Impossible 5. I also work with Talks by Megan an influencer on invisible disabilities who is a bright and beautiful disabilities and diversity advocate. No one day is the same, and every day is interesting – which is how I love life!
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marianicolette/ https://www.instagram.com/marianicolette_
