Let's Talk Covid Conspiracies
I understand none of us want to be reminded of 2020 but with 2022 creeping up on us thick and fast, a light-hearted recap of some of the craziest Covid conspiracies can’t hurt…
Coming in at number 1… has to be the giant lasagne. There was very little that made me smile in Lockdown 1.0, but if anything was going to, it was the mental image of drones constructing a Wembley-sized lasagne, pasta sheet by pasta sheet. Billy McLean, a 29-year-old Londoner, started the rumour on a Whatsapp group, which spread like wildfire across the country. If by some anomaly you haven’t yet listened to his voice notes, please go do so as a matter of urgency, and thank you McLean for your heroic contribution to this country.
Another Covid-classic is the gag that quarantine was enforced so that the government could change the batteries in the pigeons. I mean, if you stop and think about it, what do pigeons really do… It seems only right that I share a Reddit page dedicated to battery-powered bird content for those of you that have a bit too much time on your hands (https://www.reddit.com/r/BirdsArentReal/).
We mustn’t forget Bill Gates and his scheme to implant microchips into people across the globe via the Covid-19 vaccine. Incredibly, a YouGov poll found that 28% of Americans genuinely believed this story. Remarkable really. However this is the same demographic that also thought Trump would make a good President…
Perhaps a lesser-known conspiracy theory was that Putin sent 500 lions out onto the streets of Russia to help keep people indoors during lockdown. Wouldn’t put it past him to be fair. Maybe Boris should consider replacing the disaster that is Test and Trace with Putin’s lion scheme?
And of course, Kim K had to get in on the Covid conspiracy action. Kim tweeted a screenshot of a page in a book written by psychic Silvia Brown in 2008, which predicted that a pneumonia-like disease would spread throughout the globe in 2020. My moneys on Silvia being a part of the Beverley Hills mafia and called on Kim to help her with some promo so that she could fund her next girls trip to Turks. But credit where its due, Silvia’s writing is hugely accurate… Maybe I should give her a call and find out when I can expect a pay rise?
Written by Bethany Lane.
My name is Beth, I’m 22 and currently living in East London. You can normally find me nursing a hangover, eating a block of Brie and trying to convince my friends that Planes, Trains and Automobiles is the best film ever. Writing is a new venture for me and I’m excited to see where it goes.
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