Let's Have a Conversation about Fatphobia
Monday 22nd February: Boris Johnson takes to his trusty podium to deliver his latest COVID-19 announcement. During this briefing, he presents something a lot of people have been waiting for for some time: the “roadmap” out of the pandemic - because we all know how rampant viruses like to keep to a strict time schedule.
This roadmap consists of a four-step plan to ease the lockdown and ultimately lead to the lifting of all restrictions. And so, I, along with the rest of the nation, watches, mesmerised, as our publicly elected overgrown toddler delivers the long-awaited news. Employing my best political hot air to normal English translation, the steps are:
March 8th: Knackered parents are relieved of home-schooling duties. Two friends can meet for a coffee on a bench.
March 29th: Six people (or two households) can meet outdoors for a picnic, BBQ, or other weather-dependent catch-up.
April 12th: Primark reopens. We can finally get our hair cut by a professional instead of an impulsive home fringe cut after three glasses of wine (definitely not speaking from experience...). Gyms and swimming pools reopen, much to the delight of our downstairs neighbours who have had to endure the sound of us doing home workouts. You can have a pint in a beer garden.
May 17th: Six people (or two households) can meet indoors. You can have a meal or a drink inside where you are not at the mercy of the changeable British weather.
June 12st: Unlimited frivolity. Freedom. ‘Normality’.
And that’s it, a bit more waffle about the conditions that would need to be met to allow all of this to happen, but then it’s over - back to our regularly scheduled programming. It was at this point that I naively thought I would absent-mindedly scroll social media. But it didn’t end up being absent-minded at all, as soon as I tapped the Facebook icon on my home screen, I was greeted by a barrage of weight loss ads and fatphobic memes. June 21st is coming and it’s time to lose the ‘lockdown weight’.
This message isn’t new, of course, it surfaces every year in the run up to summer and after Christmas, but it was quite jarring for me because, through very careful curation of the pages I follow and content I engage with, I have been able to remove almost all mention of weight loss and diet culture from my feeds. But the problem was that these “jokes'' weren't coming from generic meme accounts hungry for likes, they were being shared by my family, my friends, my colleagues. People I cared about were posting about how fat they are now, how much weight they need to lose by June 21st, and how they are going to achieve their “summer bodies”. Across every social media platform (even LinkedIn!), those closest to me were bemoaning how much weight they had put on and sharing the extreme diets and exercise regimes they intended to embark on in time for hot girl summer.
To some this is all just ‘banter’, camaraderie, self-deprecating humour, but as someone who has struggled with an eating disorder for nearly two decades, I see the dangerous side of these jokes. This content not only glorifies disordered eating and exercise, it is also grossly fatphobic and equates fatness with something that we should fear, be ashamed of, be disgusted by. Now imagine seeing these memes whilst existing in a body that is everyone else’s worst nightmare. Seeing those you love openly express how disgusted or fearful they are of even looking remotely like you do.
If you were or are one of the people sharing this content, I want to stress that your feelings and your reaction are valid - my anger is not directed at you, but at a society that idolises thinness. A society that teaches us to strive for unrealistic beauty standards, even to the detriment of our health. A society that mocks and vilifies fat bodies. A society that props up a billion-dollar diet industry. A society that creates and then profits from our insecurities.
However, while I am all-too-familiar with the thought process and the emotion behind these “jokes”, your personal insecurities are not a justification for perpetuating fatphobia. This isn’t just harmless self-deprecation, because, really, the butt of your joke isn’t just you, it’s all fat people. It’s your friends and family who see your posts. Diet culture is toxic and affects us all, regardless of body shape, so it’s up to all of us to dismantle it. It’s up to all of us to separate beauty, worth, and morality from weight. Fatness is not synonymous with ‘bad’ and thinness is not synonymous with ‘good’.
Ultimately, if the worst thing that happened to you during a global pandemic was that you gained weight, then you are very, very fortunate. The UK death toll currently stands at 126K. Globally, 2.71M people have died from COVID-19. People have lost their lives, their loved ones, their livelihoods. We are in the midst of a mental health crisis as people struggle to cope with grief, loss, and isolation. We are trying to get through one of the most challenging periods in recent history, and yet, we are told this isn’t enough, that we are not enough. We are sold detox teas and meal plans, exercise programmes and a cocktail of supplements. It’s not enough to survive a pandemic, we have to glow up. We have to have learnt five languages, taken up three new hobbies, started a small business, and, most importantly, lost weight, because heaven forbid, we come out of this heavier than before.
But surviving is enough. You are enough. You don’t need to lose any weight by June 21st. You don’t need to deprive your body of food, rest, and joy. You don’t have to take up less space. Your family and friends won’t care that there is more of you to hug, they’ll just be grateful that they get to hug you at all.
So, as restrictions start to ease, be patient and kind with yourself and others. Be mindful of the language you use and the messages you share. Take the time to appreciate your body and everything it has carried you through recently. June 21st will come and go but your body is with you for life.
Written by Victorianna Balaktsoglou
Victorianna is a content marketer and former teacher based in Milton Keynes, but hailing from the much sunnier Athens, Greece. A keen linguist and craft enthusiast, she is passionate about body liberation, gender equality, all things creative, and pizza.
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