The Girl in Front and Behind the Camera. Talking to Kimberly Douglas: "I went on this path for a reason."

At the end of 2018, I found myself doing what we all do when bored and seeking some form of stimulation; I sat scrolling endlessly on Twitter. One thread in particular caught my attention, and it was on said thread that I was introduced to Kimberly Douglas. Otherwise known as ‘The Girl in Front and Behind the Camera’, Kimberly is an American model and creative who, in December 2018, decided to share her career struggles with the world of Twitter. The thread was an introduction to her one-woman photoshoots and the difficulties she was experiencing in breaking into the creative industries. The sentence that hit me the hardest was, ‘this is not a success story’; it resonated with me, and judging from the replies, hundreds of other people in the same position.

Curious, I pulled up her Instagram, and was immediately gobsmacked at how someone this talented was struggling to make it. Model, photographer, creative director, set designer…she did it all…correction, does it all. The thread garnered a lot of attention: “It was New Year's Eve that I wrote that thread and posted it. When I woke up the next morning…It had like 25,000 likes.” After directing people from her Twitter thread to her Instagram account, Kimberly went from 3k followers to 10k, and 7 years later, is at 256k. I reached out to Kimberly a couple of months ago to request an interview, wanting to share her journey with the world.

The start of Kimberly’s journey began with some motherly guidance (a loving reminder that she didn’t have the patience needed to sew; a necessity when pursuing a career as a fashion designer) and an associate arts degree from FIDM (now ASU FIDM) in LA. Freshly graduated, Kimberly was pleasantly surprised when she applied and got accepted into a short-term styling course. It was on this course that she had a revelation: “It was three days, it was in LA, and when I was doing it, I realised that I would rather be in front of the camera.” It was obvious to Kimberly that her next step should be to get into a modelling agency, but after spending much of 2017 and 2018 applying and not getting anywhere, she came up with a new plan, “I started taking my own photos, because I felt like maybe the reason that I wasn't getting signed was that I didn't have a portfolio.”

Whilst Kimberly had long been sharing her photographs and creative content online, her first big photoshoot came shortly after her viral Twitter Thread in 2019. “It was literally me lying on an air mattress in my brother's old room with my grandma's comforter. I didn't have a DSLR camera at the time, so I used my phone, and I taped it to the ceiling so I would just jump up and press the button every time and set the timer for 10 seconds.” The photoshoot (which gained 80,000 likes on Twitter) had Kimberly posing elegantly on a bed surrounded by flowers and fauna, in a palette of oranges, pinks, and greens. The handful of photoshoots following this were all done using the same makeshift method.

Posting to an audience of 200k+ followers is a step up from posting to an audience of 2k, especially when you’re producing creative content that is open to judgment and comment. About the pressures of a larger social following, Kimberly said, “I try not to pay too much attention to it now, because sometimes it makes me think that a photoshoot isn't good because it didn't perform very well. Then I want to delete it, or I think people are going to think some type of way, like, oh my gosh, she's flopping. She's in her flop era.” So, does this affect how she feels pre-posting? “I don't really {have posting anxiety}, but I think that's just because I was posting so consistently…If anything, I'm just like, dang, it's been four or five days, I need to post something. But also, this is part of my job. Brands aren't going to be able to find me if I just never post again, I'm not going to be in the sphere, or the zeitgeist.”

Fast forward to 2020, and the horrors of COVID and lockdown, one thing became a lifeline for many: social media. In fact, according to Kimberly, “Career-wise, it was a good time, it was a nice time to be on social media, because it felt more like a community…I think I got a lot of inspiration from trends that were happening.” Almost six years on from Covid, has this changed? “Now I don't enjoy social media as much. I feel like there are so many opinions on every single thing that it can be overwhelming at times.” Not only can social media be oversaturated with opinions, but sharing anything online these days can be tantamount to opening yourself up to abuse. Regardless of these risks, “You can see my politics right there,” Kimberly said, talking about her account ‘highlights’ which are labelled, ‘Palestine links’, ‘Abortion funds’, and ‘BLM funds/Info’. “No, I do not support Trump. I actually hate our President. Yes, I believe in pro-choice. If a woman wants to have an abortion because of literally any reason, not just a tragic reason, then yes, I do believe that she should be able to have one. No, I don't believe that a genocide should be happening in Gaza…So, yeah, I don't really care about people knowing where I stand, because that's the whole point. I'm going to be myself on social media.” Kimberly is an open book online; she isn’t afraid to speak up for her beliefs, even if it means losing followers. *

Kimberly’s creative process starts with the conception of an idea. Her first step would be to scroll through her notes app, where she has scrutinously kept all the photoshoot ideas she has had over the years. If that fails her, she’ll then search out inspiration: “I'll be driving, or I'll be walking, or I'll be watching something, or I'll hear somebody say something, and that'll spark an idea.” Once an idea is in mind, it’s time for Kimberly’s favourite part of the process, building the set, “I love building sets, especially when I have a really good idea…I keep everything from shoots anyway, so usually I can go into my garage or my little closet that I keep a whole bunch of props in from like 2019, and see what I have and use that if I need it. I keep a lot of fabric. I keep everything that I can.” As anyone who follows Kimberly on Instagram knows, whilst creating her sets and editing her photographs, she has a steady stream of film, TV and music entertainment on in the background. Interestingly enough, these might affect the outcome of her work, “I would say the aesthetics of the shows I’m watching definitely subconsciously influence how I edit…The colours reflect in my editing…If I want something to be really bright, and then I'm watching Twilight, usually it'll come out darker. So sometimes I have to put on something brighter, like an animation or a cartoon movie, like Spider-Verse.” On the topic of editing, a lot of creatives now find themselves in a bit of a dilemma when it comes to AI: to use or not to use. Kimberly is very open and welcoming of people’s curiosity into her creative processes. One of her Instagram highlights, “FAQ’s”, answers questions about her work, and the software and equipment she utilises, which includes Lightroom and Photoshop. When it comes to AI, Kimberly says, “I love it when I see AI or robotics used in medical fields, or I just saw a video this morning of people using AI to clean up oil. There are so many better things to use AI and robotics for; why are we entering it into the art world?”

You might be thinking, as I was, is it not hard doing all of this work as a team of one? Well, for Kimberly, “Sometimes I can get something done in a day, and sometimes it takes days. And then, it also depends on how I'm feeling and what I'm going through. Sometimes I don't even feel like being on camera.” Kimberly also has preferences when it comes to the tasks she really enjoys doing, “A lot of people like to see me as a photographer, because I take my own photos, but I don't {see that}. My favourite thing out of the whole process is not being the photographer; my favourite thing is building sets.”

It’s no secret that to have a creative career, it helps to have a big bank account to back you up. As with everything else, Kimberly has been notoriously honest about how hard it’s been trying to make it in the industry. So what is it like trying to keep your content fresh and diverse when you’re financing yourself? Kimberly says, “When I wanted to do something more extravagant, I would buy it {props}, but I would buy it on a credit card because I didn't have the money, and then I would just return it. Not spending money is not the goal. The only reason why it was the goal is that I didn't have any.” What is the goal? “Honestly? The goal is to be able to spend as much as I want on a shoot. Because sometimes I have ideas so extravagant that I have to downsize.” Even when she reached an astonishing 100,000 followers, Kimberly’s bank account “was still inching towards zero.” 2020 was the year that changed things, with Kimberly adding, “even though, personally, it was an awful year, career-wise, it was actually a good year for me, because that was the first year that I started making money.” After years of honing her craft, Kimberly now well-deservedly makes a comfortable living from her dynamic, creative career.

These last seven years have been a wild journey for Kimberly; she’s faced both challenges and wins aplenty, but the losses and struggles are less often talked about. Kimberly remembers one interaction that stayed with her, “I got a DM from a girl studying to be a nurse, and she had told me that seeing me pursue my dreams helped her continue; it helped her to stop doubting herself so much.” Seeing the challenges that Kimberly overcame (depression, losing friends, and finances) resonated with her and inspired her to keep on. In turn, this filled Kimberly with a sense of gratification for her journey and her work.

Kimberly is looking to work alongside more fashion-centred brands now, such as Diesel, Coach and Dior. Having just wrapped on a short film, where she had the job of production and costume designer, she’s also navigating her way into the film industry: “One of my other goals is seeing if I can make my own short film.” But ultimately? “In my career, I want to make my own stories and open doors for black women; to get more diversity in the door and different stories. It's definitely gotten better over the years. But better doesn't mean that it's perfect or even close.”