I Saw the TV Glow : The Damage of Identity Repression and Importance of Expressionism
Jane Schoenbrun’s freshman feature We’re All Going to the World’s Fair was released in 2021. It is a film that captures what it meant to be a teenager growing up in the internet age, and the effect of the media consumed on one’s identity through a lo-fi horror aesthetic. This concept is developed further in their next film, 2024’s I Saw The TV Glow, swapping out the presence of internet access with that of nostalgic late night cable television. Within this, lies the core identity of the film: the damage caused from the repression of identity, and more importantly, why the expressionism of oneself is important.
The film follows Owen, played hauntingly by Justice Smith, reminiscing on a past friendship with Maddy (Jack Haven) and their relationship linking to the Pink Opaque - a late-night serial akin to Goosebumps. On the surface, Schoenbrun’s film deals with concepts of nostalgia upon better times, recontextualising scenes from the fictional show later in the film with laughable effects, in direct contrast to the horrifying scenarios that younger Owen recalls watching. The idea of rose-tinted glasses frames the ‘pink’ into the Pink Opaque as Owen grows older and the audience realises that the show was an escape for him from the real world, providing a sense of stability in his uneasy childhood, driven by the desire to experience those emotions just one more time. Whilst the film is labelled as a horror, much like Schoenbrun’s other work, the end result is something more horrifying on a metaphorical level. No amount of cheap jumpscares can compare to the terrifying realisation of wasted time and forever lost youth. Towards the end of the film, an aged Owen is shown working his menial job in an arcade before breaking down in a screaming fit, having come to terms that for his entire life he has been living as somebody else. It is a hauntingly disturbing scene that punctuates the film in a way that was absent previously, emphasising the regret and terror that Owen feels. This is but one way how the film deals with the repression of identity and the negative consequences of such, by living vicariously in the past, seeking an escape, Owen’s life has passed him without him realising who he really is.
Schoenbrun treats this almost as a fable, peppering in aspects from their own past experiences to create a stew of representation and identity. In a feature for Input, Elissa Suh details Schoenbrun’s experiences during World’s Fair, citing: ‘They were writing the final draft of the movie [...] and had their ‘trans egg crack moment’, emphasising how the ideas of representation within that film had a personal lasting impact on Schoenbrun and ultimately allowed them to come forward with this long harboured reality of who they feel most comfortable as. This feels apparent when comparing the two features, where World’s Fair consists of bleak tones and a low-budget aesthetic, TV Glow chooses a dream-like pink haze, asserting the colour over the screen at every opportunity - representing a myriad of themes ranging from gender to the aforementioned rose-tinted aura. Likewise, A Self-Induced Hallucination, Schoenbrun’s 2018 documentary, is captured through the lens of a monitor, immersing the audience literally within the world of the internet as they explore the most infamous creepypasta of all: Slenderman. This documentary deals with ideas of mental health prominently - one of Schoenbrun’s key thematics - whilst retaining an expressionistic format throughout yet is decidedly lacking in the formalities that Schoenbrun would become known for. Much like TV Glow, Vera Drew’s The People’s Joker is a self-actualising film about trans identity with a unique visual style and distinct comedic tone which presents completely different aspects of the damage of repression by utilising famous comic characters to tell its story. Films like these are undeniably important as they present personal stories that many can relate to in the most magical ways, combining meaning and entertainment in equal parts to prove why films as a medium are so important.
One of TV Glow’s most notable aspects is its use of semantics in building meaning. Early on, the younger Owen walks under a large parachute, its colours representative of the transgender flag (white, pink, blue) alongside later in the film where Owen is shown in brief flashes wearing a pink dress - these images are crammed with meaning and characterisation which adds layers of understanding to personal readings of the film. Similarly, the aforementioned pink haze draws from societal associations of gendered colours. The ‘Pink Opaque’ is criticised by Owen’s dad (played surprisingly by Fred Durst) when he questions: ‘Isn’t that a show for girls?’ in a judgemental manner, sowing the seeds of internal doubt within Owen. This repeated imagery sets a path for the audience to see the world through the protagonist’s eyes and by extension: the director’s. Veronica Esposito writes for The Guardian, ‘The 90s were probably the last time when so many young people sleepwalked toward a queer identity’, expressing how in this time, queer individuals would often ‘gravitate towards an identity without realising it’ - much like Owen who sees himself represented within ‘The Pink Opaque’. However, it is the film’s closing that truly hammers in this point, acting as a cautionary tale of sorts, encouraging those questioning to be their true selves and to not end up in liminality like Owen does.
Present in the film is an almost timeless quality; despite being set firmly within 1996, it is easy to relate to the world that Schoenbrun crafts - in fact, the only aspect that strictly dates the film is the motif of VHS tapes and their holy grail-like quality to Owen. This allows the viewer to get immersed within the diegesis as if they were watching themselves on the glowing TV screen. Furthermore, the music choices are drawn straight from notable artists of today, rather than relying on established needle drops to tend emotion. The dreamy synth pop soundtrack includes the likes of Phoebe Bridgers, Caroline Polachek, Jay Som, King Woman, and more. These artists represent themes of the film through their music, their inclusion paramount as they weave lullabies of escapism, gender dysphoria, and lost youth - culminating in siren songs that perhaps somebody needs to hear in their life.
In the world that we currently inhabit, it goes without saying how crucial films such as TV Glow really are, as trans rights and queer culture are oppressed further and further each day. Films have always been a powerful platform for these ideas, The People’s Joker is a fantastically unique film in the canon of trans films, sitting alongside the likes of The Matrix and Paris is Burning proudly. TV Glow reigns comfortably in this pantheon too. As a film that deals with the danger of repression of identity at a time where it feels most necessary to speak out, the importance of this form of expressionism is undeniably important and personal to huge numbers of people, and we can only hope that more creatives follow suit as global politics continue to shift in the manner that they do. It feels unlikely that a change will occur soon, in which we can rely on films such as TV Glow as a beacon of light, guiding lost souls to safety as the darkness around them continues to dampen the illuminations that should’ve been eternal flames. As long as these films exist, the real light will never be extinguished.
Written by Freddie Smith
Freddie, 22, is a Film & Television Production graduate with a lifelong passion for watching absolutely anything thrown his way without a second thought. His commitment to film is second only to his drive to write and share his (often) wrong ideas. You can find him on Instagram: @frodosmith02 or Letterboxd: @FrodoMcBaggins.
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