Growing up as, and forever being, a girl-without-mother has become somewhat a defining character trait. This trait is malleable, and has morphed over time to represent, and be represented by, different things.

I shall attempt to advise my 20-year-old self, but it’s hard because I’m not entirely sure she wasn’t a bit of a dickhead. So, that’s the first thing I’d say: If you can look back every 5 years and think, “God, I was an idiot, wasn’t I?”, then you’re making progress.

At first glance, I look just like your average 20-something-year-old woman, you probably think I have a job, a busy social life, and do all of the things a woman in her 20’s does. But you couldn’t be more wrong.

Back in December 2020, I tripped and fell into Bullet Journal Instagram. As someone with a creative streak I don’t indulge in nearly often enough and a crippling need for order and organisation, I’d found the answer to a question I didn’t realise I was even looking to answer. I knew, then and there, that I needed to join the Bullet Journal revolution.

I go through phases when it comes to addressing people. For a long time, ‘man’ was my go-to. Yeah man. Thanks man. You’re standing on my foot, man. For a while I moved onto ‘dude’, because I’m a bit of a slacker and it felt apt. I’ve never been much of a ‘pal’ guy: I feel you have to look at least a bit hard to say pal, and I look like Tin Tin, so.

Back in December 2020, I tripped and fell into Bullet Journal Instagram. As someone with a creative streak I don’t indulge in nearly often enough and a crippling need for order and organisation, I’d found the answer to a question I didn’t realise I was even looking to answer. I knew, then and there, that I needed to join the Bullet Journal revolution.

When I was at school sex education was a bit dry, pun intended. It didn’t really talk about pleasure, it just scolded us, made us afraid of getting pregnant or getting the clap.

The boy and I remained close friends for years. He was perturbed and irritated by the fact that I was now apparently a lesbian, partly because he believed it made his already poor social standing significantly worse. He once told me that he had never mentioned my new relationship to his dad because it would make him look 'less of a man'. He was convinced that other boys and men would assume he was in some way inadequate and had therefore 'turned' me.

All that my parish priest had done with people’s donations, though, is cover the crucifix in gold. I wasn’t quite sure how that would work, but probably Jesus would feel flattered and improve the fate of the poor around the world. So either Aunt Gianna really hoped for the best, or she liked to fool herself.

Whenever I think about what I want for my kids, after the obvious things like good health and happiness, it’s that they have a best friend. I mean, a proper best friend.

“Is your hair real”? That question could stop me dead in my tracks.

Like people had a right to ask me such a personal question.

The point of this article is to be candid about recreational drug use because, if we’re honest, drugs are everywhere.

There are women out there, living alone or who have children, and who are still struggling, each and every day with making ends meet financially as a big chunk of their salary is being taken up by the cost of rent.