Feeling Anxious As Lockdown Lifts? Why it’s okay to take things at your own pace
On 22 February 2021, Boris Johnson took to National TV to announce the Government's proposed “Roadmap”. It’s our step-by-step guide to “easing out of lockdown” and returning to pre-pandemic normality - sort of. The destination: 21 June.
On 23 February I shared on Instagram: “Obviously I’ve not ~loved~ lockdown, but …when the last 12-months have been about taking things “one day at a time” this [roadmap] feels like a massive leap my brain just can’t compute. It’s of course hugely positive in so many ways ...but it’s dealing with change (again). It’s dealing with the unknown (again). It’s being around other people (again). It’s being around other people’s excitement, when you’re feeling unsure (again).”
In sharing this post I realised that I wasn’t alone in feeling this way - in fact, it was my most engaged post for a while. Friends and followers reached out to share that they too were feeling the weight of the post-lockdown heebie-jeebies. It seems that for many of us, the announcement had opened a can of worms - except we weren’t prepared, there’s now worms everywhere, they won’t stop moving and the can is on fire. What to do!
Then there are the “others” for whom 21 June is the light at the end of the tunnel, and it was unfathomable to them that there was anything else to “do” or “be” than “set a countdown” and “be excited”, respectively. As someone who identifies much more with the ‘post-lockdown anxious’ crowd I’m happy for these people - really, I am - but it only serves to shine a brighter light on the thoughts and feelings I’m having about lockdown restrictions easing, and making me question why I’m not as excited as they are.
Regardless of whether you are someone who suffered with anxiety before the pandemic or not, and regardless of whether you are naturally more introverted or extroverted, there are clear and identifiable reasons why feelings of anxiety might be squashing the excitement that we expected to feel at the first sniff of life getting back to normal...
First and foremost, anxiety is a stress response, a natural reaction to a perceived threat. We hear a lot about how anxiety is a biological hangover from the days we’d have been going toe-to-toe with a lion, but that in modern society there is no lion. The lion is now our never-ending to-do list or a full email inbox - stressful, but not life-threatening. However, in 2020 we went toe-to-toe with the Pandemic - a very real, very close-to-home, threat, not only to ourselves but to everyone we know and love. We have been conditioned to act with extreme caution and be on constant high-alert. No one and nowhere was safe. “Normal life” is now a threat and our biological stress response has been switched on for the best part of two years and it’s going to take more than a Roadmap to reset the pressure gauge.
Second to that, when the full weight of the Pandemic hit the UK it initiated what could only be described as one of the most rapid and unexpected periods of change we have encountered so far in life. Almost overnight our individual worlds shrunk to a fraction of the size they were before but we humans are resilient and adaptable. Slowly but surely, we started to find comfort in the discomfort, familiarity in the unknown and calm amidst the chaos. However, with this ‘new normal’ also comes a new, much smaller, comfort zone. With restrictions easing, our re-entry into “normal” life is stretching the outer walls of our comfort zone beyond our own home, into the homes of our friends and family, into restaurants, into coffee shops, and into larger groups. This new period of change will naturally cause some anxiety, as it did the first time around, but we can trust that we will once again adapt, and find some of that comfort, familiarity and calm in post-lockdown living.
Then there’s the anxiety that comes with being more social again. For starters, you realise how rusty your social skills are after another six-months of minimal exposure to in-person conversation. I vividly remember that after Lockdown 1.0, if we weren’t talking about Sourdough or Tiger King I really had no idea how to converse with another adult human: “What should I talk about? What if it’s awkward? What if I say something stupid? Should I hug them? Maybe I should just cancel and stay at home. Maybe they’ll cancel? No, I should go. But what should I talk about?” This is closely followed by the anxiety that kicks in when you realise you’re going to start hemorrhaging money as soon as weekend brunch dates and Friday night pub trips start up again. I don’t know about you, but aside from the odd “treat yourself, life is tough” purchase, I’ve never had a better handle on where my money is going than when we’ve been in lockdown.
Why have I never acknowledged before how exhausting it is to navigate the planning and preparation for any social engagement? Then still retain enough mental energy to actually enjoy socialising when you get there. As a result, social fatigue is becoming a familiar friend. As an introvert, I’ve always needed a fallow period between any significant social plans, but the need for this time, to recharge the social batteries, has been far more apparent during the pandemic.
Lockdown hasn’t been a walk in the park, but this quiet time is a silver-lining of the “stay at home” order that I've become quite accustomed to. I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling pretty resistant to “business as usual”. With restrictions easing it feels a lot like the real world has come knocking and is threatening to burst that comfortable lockdown bubble. I frequently wonder how I sustained the hustle-and-bustle before, but the slower mornings and plan-free weekends are something I’m keen to hold on to.
We’re now three months on from BoJo’s announcement, and I’m still trying to get the worms back in the can, but I’m starting to get pretty skilled at it. The anxiety? It’s trying to keep us safe in uncharted waters. You don’t have to be there to greet post-lockdown life with open arms - it’s okay to take things at your own pace. Here, I’d like to offer some nuggets of wisdom that have worked for me so far. One: share your anxieties with those closest to you. Ask to still be invited, but let them know why you might sometimes pass. Practice saying “no” to these people you feel comfortable with, so that you can build confidence saying it in other situations too. Two: Stay closer to home on days you’re feeling anxious - these are not the days to go to the supermarket at peak times or get on the push during rush hour, if you don’t have to. Three: remember that, above all else, there is no rush. We each have unconditional permission to write our own roadmap for coming out of lockdown. It’s okay to set your own pace.
Fiction and Poetry
Written by Molly Williams
Hey, I’m Molly. I'm in my twenties, living in Bristol and working full-time in Marketing and Communications. I'm also a Mental Health Champion and qualified Personal Trainer and, as a result, fitness, wellness and mental health have become a key focus of my writing and creativity to date.