Number 38: Turning My House Into Home After My Parkinson's Diagnosis
I live in House Number 38 with my husband and two little boys. We moved to Number 38 when my health began deteriorating rapidly and I was at the time unsure about what was wrong with my body. Personally for me, moving into this house brings back very difficult memories of struggle, chaos and constant change.
It was hard for me to call this my home because I associated it with such a tragic moment in my life. For a long time, I never felt any feelings of belonging to this house. I didn’t care much about how it looked, what it said about me as houses often do. I even left the decision making related to interior decor to my husband.
Four and a half years later, it’s a different story altogether. I feel like this house now finally belongs to me. Unknowingly, it held me when I was at my most vulnerable. It gave me physical spaces not just to strengthen my body but also comforting spaces where I could regain my mental peace. It is where my babies turned into toddlers and from toddlers to bright young boys. The earliest years of their childhood will always be associated with this house - the both of them jumping on the bed, swinging off the bannisters, building tents in the guest room and hours and hours and hours of playing in the garden.
So why don’t you come along with me into my home? And see what I have been up to.
Indoor Plants
I walk towards the corner of my living room, answering the beckoning call of my indoor plants. Calming green leaves look at me with such tenderness that I almost forget they cannot speak. My eyes rest upon the anthuriums in need of some extra care, the succulents resilient in their bright coloured pots, the purple orchids in full bloom.I soak in the peace that this corner inevitably brings, the memories it evokes. Me, running around freely in my grandmother’s garden, its narrow pathway flanked on either side by crotons, lilies and touch me nots; Leading me into the menagerie of trees, chickoo, gooseberry, mango; coconut, jackfruit, guava. I close my eyes and try to remember my grandmother’s favourite plant.I draw a blank so I slowly open my eyes and find the answer blithely staring at me. Anthuuuuriumsss! Of course!
Kettle
I gravitate towards this corner of my bustling kitchen and upon the countertop stands my prized kettle. It is surrounded by a variety of mugs- some which have seen better days and others parading in the garb of relationship awards. I reach out to the “World’s Best Mummy” mug and switch on the kettle. I now have to make an important decision about which tea to select. Calming chamomile, lively lemon, faithful fennel or heartening hibiscus. I feel the muscles in my neck and shoulders still tense with the rigours of the day so I choose the calming chamomile. I pour the boiling water onto the teabag sitting in my mug and wait for it to become infused with the goodness of chamomile. Then slowly I bring it to my lips and begin sipping on what has become my most trusted elixir.
Bookshelf
I’ve always owned a bookshelf, whether it be a solid wooden one in my childhood home, a portable one during my time at the University halls or my current more modern looking one in my suburban London home. The sight of my paperbacks and hardbacks, magazines and chapbooks magically makes me happy. I run my fingers across their spines, allowing them to absorb and balance the tension within me. I choose a book, flick through its pages and am mesmerised by the ‘book smell’ that I have come to adore, more so in recent years.
My writing desk
My desk is my own personal space that I’ve carved within an often chaotic, bustling household. I surround myself with photographs of people that I love and prints of typewriters and sunflowers that lend a vintage aesthetic to this space. It is funny that I don’t actually sit and write here. My creative process is often on the go. It is in the midst of activity, often manic. It is probably even in the midst of meal times where my child is refusing to eat something that I prepared lovingly. Or it could be when I’m having a conversation with my husband, but I’m usually distracted and I begin noting down my thoughts. My desk then becomes an island where I sit by myself and edit my work. Most importantly it holds space for me to truly exist as a writer.
The swing
When you enter our kitchen a piece of furniture that is rather out of place would be the swing by the French windows. We had a bit of space which was waiting to be occupied. For many months we had left it alone not wanting to over clutter our working space in the kitchen, especially. However, slowly and organically the Christmas tree’s entry into our living room led to the swing to migrate to the kitchen. And it has remained there much like an immigrant- present and even assimilated but always a little foreign. It is used by not just me but my entire family who are searching for pockets of solitude in their day.
Number 38 is slowly evolving into home from house. In hindsight I seek out anchors to remind me of the feeling of ‘ home’. These anchors help me make the once foreign looking brick and mortar structure(s) my own. So nowadays I’m busy adding my little touches to the various spaces within our home . I feel like I am trying to make up for all the lost time but it’s okay because our home at that time provided me with exactly what I needed: a safe haven resounding with the laughter of my children and the irreplaceable support and love of my husband.
Written by Snehal Amembal
I am a freelance writer, editor and poet based in Surrey (UK). I currently freelance with Business Insider, Her View From Home and Motherly. I am also an Editorial Board member for Parkinson’s UK. My writing primarily reflects my motherhood journey, memories of my childhood and the essence of everyday moments.
I have authored three chapbooks, ‘Pause’, ‘I Am’ and ‘In Between Love' . My fourth poetry book ‘Magical Mundane’ and my debut memoir ‘PapaMa’s Portrait’ will be published in the latter half of 2025.
My work has appeared in anthologies as well as in literary zines. I worked as an Editor with Daily Life Magazine for 1.5 y 2020 - 2021). You can take a look at my work here https://linktr.ee/notessonthego
Finally, I am a Young Onset Parkinson’s Disease (YOPD) warrior and create awareness about the condition through my writing.
