It’s No Walk in The Park: The Unexpected Mental and Lifestyle Load of Dog Ownership.
I regret getting our dog. *Immediately checks for angry mob with torches and pitchforks*
It’s a truth that feels almost illegal to say out loud, but it is true nonetheless. One that’s probably shared by lots of people, but who also haven’t voiced it because of the accompanying guilt and shame (or fear of the righteous-dog-loving-angry-mob with torches and pitchforks).
It’s also true that owning a dog is really, really, hard and I don’t think that anyone ever talks about that side of it - not really. You could innately be a Dog Person and hang out with dogs all the time, you could have had a family dog when you were a child, and you could have done all the recommended research beforehand. I don’t think any of it can ever fully prepare you for the reality of getting your own dog for the first time.
What do you mean this animal now lives in my house and it's just here all the time? What do you mean I am the person solely responsible for every aspect of his health and happiness? What do you mean he relies on me for absolutely everything?
The mental and lifestyle shift felt tectonic, and it’s not a gross exaggeration to describe the weight of responsibility that landed as soon as we got our dog home as crushing. You can intellectually know and mentally prepare for the obvious stuff like adjusting routines to fit in twice daily walks, the additional cost of food, and the time needed for training so your dog isn’t the one that’s a total menace to society. But I know now there is so much about owning a dog that you simply can’t prepare for and only learn by living it.
I don’t want you to hear what I’m not saying - two things can be true at once. Yes, I have experienced moments of regret, but I have never (seriously) considered giving him up. Sadly, however, that is the reality for some dogs - just this week, I saw a dog available for rehoming who had already had two homes by the age of one. Lack of awareness or preparedness for the realities of dog ownership will inevitably lead to dogs being rehomed, a heartbreaking experience for everyone involved, people and dogs alike.
The only way to prevent this is to talk about the realities more. The good and the bad. By reflecting on my own experiences, and polling a few dog-owning pals, what follows is a non-exhaustive list of the unexpected, but unavoidable, realities of owning a dog, that I think you should know:
Puppyhood is not for the faint hearted
When it’s 3.00am, it’s raining, you’re standing under an umbrella in your pyjamas, following your puppy around the garden with a torch and encouraging him to “do wee-wees”, you do start to question whether you really wanted a dog that badly. Even when they are sleeping through the night, reliably toilet trained and trained well enough to not chewing the furniture, the growth spurts and hormone fluctuations mean you don’t know from one day to the next if you’re going to wake up to your sweet puppy pal, or your own personal Tasmanian Devil.
Diary management becomes a full time job
Dogs are really needy. And even if they’re not emotionally needy, they just have a lot of needs. Like being walked, and fed and intellectually stimulated and played with and not left alone for too long. All of this requires a meticulous level of forward planning to make sure that their needs are met around your own already-probably-busy schedule. A shared calendar is almost certainly necessary.
It’s not just a walk in the park
My expectation BD (Before Dog) was that I would spend a mindful 45-60 minutes of my morning walking in our local park with my little dog pal. Wrong. Far from mindful, I spend the majority of the time paying attention to whether he is safe, he’s still carrying his ball, he’s interacting with other people and dogs appropriately, and he’s not bumping into any of his doggy-enemies (they exist and must be avoided at all costs).
You’re auto-enrolled into your local Social Circle of Dog Walkers
Whether you like it or not, I believe there’s a social etiquette that requires you to make small talk with other Dog Walkers in any park that you frequent regularly, and it is frowned upon to be the Anti-Social Dog Walker. If, like me, you are an introvert who has little interest in talking to strangers, particularly early in the morning, you’re going to need to prepare. You will also know the name of all the dogs, but none of their humans’.
Owning a dog is actually pretty gross (if you’re squeamish about bodily fluids, you might want to skip this one)
Dogs will literally eat anything - I’ve seen my dog eat sh*t on a number of occasions. Eating things they probably shouldn’t can lead to digestive discomfort, which can lead to (yes, we’re going there) sickness, diarrhoea or any number of other toileting issues. If you’re not prepared to relieve your dog’s discomfort by pulling poop lit-er-ally out of their bum, you’re not ready for dog-ownership.
Your house will never be properly clean again
We’re a Me Casa, Su Casa kind of house (translation, there aren’t many spaces he isn’t allowed in) so it’s to be expected, but if I had a pound for every time I made myself a coffee and immediately found dog hair in it, I’d be able to hire the full time cleaner we obviously need. Of course it varies breed to breed but the shedding is no joke. Also see previous point about digestive discomfort…enough said on that.
Your dog becoming your whole personality is inevitable
Personally, I put a firm foot down on being ‘Mum’ and ‘Dad’ to our dog, it really gives me the ick. But lots of friends openly admit to becoming the dog-owner they never thought they would be, including talking about their dog as you would a human child. To each their own. I will admit to being Little Miss Talks About Her Dog A Lot and I will show you the whole album of photos on my phone given half the chance, sorry not sorry because LOOK HOW CUTE.
How is it possible to love something this much?
I worry about my dog constantly. CON-STANT-LY. Is he happy? And healthy? Is he having a nice life with us? When we’re on holiday - do you think he misses us? I feel bad when we have to leave him at home, even though where we’re going isn’t dog friendly. I’ve cried about the fact that we’ll outlive him, even though that reality is years in the future. Good grief, I didn’t know it was possible to have such a strong emotional bond with a dog. He is the most precious thing I have ever known and I love him so much it hurts my heart.
So where does all this leave us? I fear that dog ownership is becoming glamourised through social media, when the reality is far from glamorous. Society’s rose-tinted view surely will only result in more dogs ending up in homes that are not equipped or prepared to give them the appropriate investment of time, attention and finances they absolutely need.
I don’t want to put anyone off bringing a four-legged friend into their lives - I’ve experienced so much joy as a result of this decision and there are so many dogs out in the world that need a loving home - but, on the other hand, I do. Owning a dog is not a decision that should be made lightly and if more of us talked about the unglamorous truth, more of the right people (and dogs) can enjoy the unique and wonderful experience of doing life together.
Written by Molly Williams
