It is these types of questions that could help feminists grapple with over a decades’ old debate: How do we delineate between what is pornographic content filled with sexual menace and what accounts only as sexual fantasy?

BDSM is frequently captured as a manifestation of misogyny, and its practice is presented as wholly derivative of patriarchal culture. On social media platforms such as TikTok, or more specifically ‘Kink Tok,’ you might find assertations made by women in comment sections, such as: “call me vanilla, but I don’t find violence sexy,” or “why does nobody like vanilla sex anymore?”

I’m not going to dispute that these items and activities don’t work for people but why have we accepted that self-care is something we can buy when, in essence, it shouldn’t be a necessity? And if self-care can be bought, who gets to be the customer?

Earlier that day, I’d gotten into a bit of a heated debate with a classmate. Looking back, I can’t even remember what on. I’ve always felt an intense need to be a good person and felt equally as intense guilt any time I thought I wasn’t being up to scratch. One of the ways this manifested itself was in me keeping exhaustingly up to date with any matter of social justice.

Of course it makes sense that the memes we find most hilarious are the ones we find most relatable. There is something strangely comforting about having someone hold a mirror up to your deepest, darkest, mental health struggle and reflect it back to you as a 240-character tongue-in-cheek witticism that’s gone viral.

Understanding and overcoming the act of confrontation logically and objectively is going to aid you in dealing with a confrontation. Having a methodological mindset will likely help you as only you can change, if you believe that your behaviour is or is not working and so long as you are asserting positive change.

Representation, equality, inclusion… No matter how you dress it up over the past few years, there has been an uptick in conversations about closing the gap between what we see – via TV, Social Media or otherwise – and the realities of the diverse world we live in.

What struck me more than the dress, the cheap baccy, the husky voices, was the attitude that ‘looking’ and ‘acting’ working class was a novelty, something to be picked up and dropped by comparison to their own backgrounds. Which by implication meant dressing like they had no money, drinking to oblivion, and generally treating the idea of being working class as simply an aesthetic.

How much warning do we need? We ALL have our own shit to deal with and it is just that, our own shit. Life can be entered into with too much caution sometimes, this I’ve learned to my cost over the years. Sometimes you need to boldly and blindly go into something, confront it and hopefully come out of it a little better. But exposure therapy isn’t for everyone and isn’t always helpful. Face your demons they say...but in your own time.

Close the curtains, shut the door, make sure your phone isn’t connected to the family TV, and come with me to explore how porn’s treatment and depiction of age warps our cultural conception age in relation to sexualities, consent, and discrimination.